Let's Get Spiritual

Soul Coaching : be all you can be

2012-02-14T09:00:00.000Z

Do you feel that something is missing from your life? Do you feellike you want something different only you can’t quite identify what exactly?

Can you answer this riddle?

Who am I?

Where do I belong?

What is it that I have to do in life?

The answer to this riddle is the key to happiness and fulfilment. Isthere one answer that fits all or is it individualized?

If you could hear a message from your soul what would it betelling you? What would your soulwant you to know?

The soul’s potential calls us. It calls us to journey into thedepths of our soul to discover the truth about ourselves. It calls us to discoverour authentic self and our life’s purpose. It calls us to go beyond our present boundaries,barriers and limits, and to clear out our mental and emotional clutter. Itcalls us to recognise our unique gifts. It calls us to greatness- which is simplyto bring the best of ourselves to our day to day tasks

Does this seem like a big leap? Just remember, you were bornunlimited. Any limitations you have now you have picked them up along the way.They aren’t you. When we embrace our soul passion we experience wow! Don’tdelay, start today. Now is the moment of power.

Mind Detox

2012-02-07T09:00:00.000Z

Doesyour mind feel heavy, sluggish and dull? Maybe it is time for a mind detox?Like detoxing the body a mind detox makes the mind lighter, brighter and moreresilient.

So,what is the mind’s food? Thoughts. What are toxins for the mind? What makes itheavy, sluggish and dull? What causes you to over-think and go in a spin? Whatkeeps you awake at night? Doubts, problems, worries, slights, complaints, annoyances,disappointments and how to get people to like you?

Detoxthe Mind: go on a fast. Eat less but more nutritious food. Here are examples of5 diet plans.

Fast from doubt. All sorts ofdoubts, as doubt makes us heavy and invites fear in.

Chew on getting to know yourselfbetter. Knowledge brings understanding and this gives us self-confidence, goodwishes for our self and the power to change. Our feelings either empower or dis-empowerus, so why not choose ones that will empower you?

Fast from stickiness. We can either seethings as a problem, a challenge, an opportunity or best of all as a gift.

Presentationmatters! The more we move from seeing situations as problemsto gifts the easier it is for us to expand our mind and find the solution.

Fast from boiling. Someone sayssomething and we feel slighted or hurt and we react.

Turn down the heat. Pause, and ifneeded take time-out. Stretch your mind and honestly ask yourself: Do they havea point? If not, then you don’t need to be concerned about it. If yes, is theresomething that you can do to make things better? Take the benefit of theincidence and stay light. Also, be patientwith yourself.

Fast from over-planningmeals. Whenwe expect we get easily disappointed when things don’t go as we wanted them to.
Use what is in thecupboard. Appreciate whatever happens and you willfind benefit in everything.

Fast from pleasing.Oftenwe mould ourselves to how we think others want us to be to gain their approvaland love. Only it is difficult to pleaseeveryone all the time.

Right ingredients. Self-respect, recognizeyour inner qualities and values and express and live by these.

Peace of Mind

2012-01-31T09:00:00.000Z

Who doesn’t want peace of mind? Hands-up! The good news isthat we can all have peace of mind. The key is to understand what peace is andwhat the mind is.

What is peace?

Peace is a state of inner contentment and fulfilment. Ifthere is any animosity or sorrow within us we can’t be peaceful.

What in the mind?

Is it something physical? Something we can hold and weigh?Are thoughts physical, measurable, tangible?

Who does ‘our’ mind belong too?

We say ‘my’ hands and ‘my’ feet and expect them to do whatwe tell them to do. In the same way we say ‘my’ mind. Does this not make themind ‘our’ property? Does this not mean that it too should do as we tell it to?

What does it mean to be in charge of ‘our’ mind?

Are you aware of the link between your thoughts and feeling?Think of a deep, still lake in a beautiful green valley... how do you begin tofeel? Now think being squashed on a delayed train not sure if you are going toget to an important meeting on time... how do you begin to feel? You haven’tphysically been present in either of these situations and yet just thinkingabout them has had effect on how you feel hasn’t it? So, squashed on the traincould you not turn your thoughts to that beautiful valley? You can’t do anythingabout the delayed train, but you can about the mood you turn up to your meetingin.

So...Who is in charge of ‘your’ mind?

You? Are you alwaysin charge or only sometimes? At times we seem to unconsciously hand over the remote-controlof our mind to someone else. They then are in charge of pressing the buttons!Sometimes it isn’t a person, it could also be our worries about the future orpast events that rob us of our peace of mind.

Peace of Mind

1/ Become the master of your own mind. Take back the remote-controland choose what buttons you want to press for yourself. Nurture contentment within yourself and live your full potential.

2/ Free yourself from worries about the future. We create ourown futures. We can determine to become our best self. Things will happen, onlywhen they do we will find we can cope, find a way through, the help we needwill appear and that we can help others to handle it too. Just focus on what youneed to do now and do it to the best of your ability, then whatever happens youwill be fine.

3/ Free yourself from the past. Have you noticed how when apast memory emerges the feeling comes too? I am feeling great and then thememory comes and I no longer feel soo great! One way of helping to free our selffrom re-living the past over and over again is reframing. Reframing takes awaythe sting of the memory and this then allows God’s love to reach us and healus.

Reframing. See if you can see things from the other’s side? Check, whatgood has happened as a result of that event that wouldn’t otherwise havehappened? Something you have learnt? Are you more self-confident? A new friend?A new job? A trip?

4/ Be selective about your thoughts. Make your thoughts high quality thoughts. Have a powerful and determined thought for yourself, such as, I amnot going to let anything rob me of my peace of mind; this conflict must getresolved…. Also, have good wishes for others.

People Skills

2012-01-24T09:00:00.000Z

Who doesn’t want to get on with people? To have fun, cooperate andlive in harmony together? So, why is it that our biggest challenges, more oftenthan not, are relationships? What can we do to improve our people skills? Wecan employ REAL. These are the four essential building-blocks of for greatrelationships.

REAL : Respect . Empathy . Accept . Listen

Respect: this is about seeing the intrinsic value of both our selfand others.

Practise: notice one good thing about everyone you meet today.

Empathy: this is about understanding something from another’s point ofview.

Practise: if you are getting into a disagreement with someone stopand imagine yourself standing in their shoes. See if you can see where they arecoming from. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, instead it fosters understandingwhich enables better communication and the finding of a solution rather thanfalling out.

Accept: this is about letting people be themselves and not tryingto control others. Just accept them as they are. We can save ourselves from alot of frustration and anger this way.

Practise: recall a time when you have felt accepted and one whenyou have not. In both cases what was your feeling towards that person? Now thinkof someone you find challenging. Imagine that you are meeting for the firsttime. Step back from your judgements about them and attempt to see them in a differentlight.

Listen: today we are all so busy that very rarely do we sit down quietlyand truly listen to each other. Tolisten is to listen with your heart and without comments or judgements.

Practise: next time you meet someone allow yourself to be presentin the moment and give then your fullattention - just listen.

Avoid Avoidance!

2012-01-17T09:30:00.000Z

Is there something you areavoiding? Do you sugar coat why you are avoiding it or play it down? Do youhave good ideas that you don’t dare follow through? Do you do things but at thesame time hold yourself back? Are you afraid to shine?

Why do we avoid?
It might be fear of rejection,humiliation, other’s judgment and criticism or fear to stand out in the crowd(a lack of self-belief or self-value.) Over time avoiding becomes our habit andrules us.

What can we do?

Start believing in YOU – in whoYOU are, which has nothing to do with what you do. Start enjoying being YOU.
Take time out to spend withYOU and find out all about YOU, as you would with a new friend. Start noticing whatand how you avoid and become your own best friend. Laugh at yourself and encourageyourself to stop avoiding.
Step out of your comfort zoneand start realising your full potential. If we don’t we will always be looking forthings to fill our lives. Explore the question: What is my purpose?

Addressing the Habit

Stay alert so that when an avoidant thought arises in your mind younotice it before it has you under its spell.
Dispute it. Catch yourself out. ‘Ahh, you again! I know you.’
Replace it with an positive affirmation, such as, I am able and capable;I am a valuable person; there is nothing to be afraid of…
Act with determination and full intention.

The Manifesto
Ultimately we are stopping ourselvesfrom being ourselves. Write a manifesto:Who are you? What are your values? What do you believe in? How do you want to ‘be’– feel and interact with others. Who are you?

360 degrees Presence

2012-01-01T09:30:00.000Z

What doeshaving presence mean? Can you think of someone you know who has presence? Sometimeswe give people high prominence in our mind, however, this is different to presence.Real presence, like the sun, influences without wanting attention and canchange the atmosphere of a room.

Realpresence is something we can all have. To attain presence we need to become‘present’ and re-claim our own inner power. Present and I am aware of beingpresent right here and now. I feel at ease and I am aware of my own innerstillness, peace, freedom and power. Inner power is about having the innerstrength to not react, be surprised or agitated by anything and maintain my innerstillness and positivity.

Moreoften than not we are not ‘present’- we have either drifted off into the past, futureor a daydream. Alternatively, we might escape into a movie, book or into emails,face book and twitter. Either way, we are no longer aware of our self asseparate from the ‘story.’ Can you watch a film, for example, without any reactions,likes or dislikes? Does this sound boring? If it does, this is a sign that, youare seeking to escape the present moment and distraction.

360degree presence, this is about the quality of our consciousness. Imagine a darkroom and then turn on the light. The light fills the room and you see thefurniture that is there and the shadows it casts. So too, it is withconsciousness. When we turn on the light of consciousness we illuminate any‘furniture’ that is there and ‘shadows’ it casts. Shadows can be cast by, forinstance, difficult relationships.

All theseshadows can be removed. To remove the shadow cast by a difficult relationship sendpowerful good wishes to that person; try it and see how that relationshipimproves. We can then extend this to giving light to the whole world, this helpsus remove a lot of shadows. The light ofconsciousness is designed and meant to radiate outwards in all directions andtouch others and world.

Anothertip: the screen of our mind can be likened to a computer desktop. We open manyscreens and flick from one to another. So too, we all have many ‘stories’running and we jump from one to another and back again all day long. We then goto bed feeling drained and exhausted. To experience 360 degree presence, for amoment just close down all the screens.

Believe in Yourself: Reclaiming your Self Esteem

2011-12-20T09:00:00.000Z

To esteem is to value, appreciate or honour. When did you lastremind yourself what you values appreciate or honour about yourself? Can yousay, ‘I am wonderful’ with conviction?

How do you feel on a scale of 1-5 about the following?

1	2	3	4	5
Worthless				Valuable
Sad				Happy
Inner Turmoil				Inner Peace
Lack Self-Respect				Self-Respect
Stay in Comfort Zone				Take Calculated Risks
Crumble with Constructive Criticism				Learn from Constructive Criticism
Critical of Others				Accepting of Others
Obstacles are Barriers				Obstacles are Opportunities
Dependent				Independent

What do you base your self-esteem on?
Do you base it on external things, such as, ‘your’ possessions,wealth, position, appearance, age, title, family, connections etc.?
OR
Do you base it on your original positive qualities? On your authenticself?

Take an iceberg, only 10% is visible and this 10% is influencedby whatever wind is blowing (current opinions, appearances, fashions,situations). The other 90% is below the surface and it is influenced by deepercurrents (our inner and authentic self.)

What is the inner self?

It is the core of our being. It is our solid ground. It is wherepeace, love, wisdom, stillness, strength, freedom, clarity and spiritualexperience reside.

How do we access our inner self?

We need to observe our self and attain self-knowledge.

Acknowledge your five original inner qualities of peace, love,power, joy and purity.
Reflect on them and allow yourself to go into the experience ofthem in meditation.
Share them with others and day by day restore your positive self.Peace, for example, can be expressed as patience, calmness, tranquillity or serenity.Love as kindness, caring, compassion, acceptance or generosity. Joy aslightness, easiness, happiness, laughter or humour.

Destiny?

2011-12-06T09:00:00.000Z

Sowa thought and reap an action.

Sowan action and reap a habit.

Sowa habit and reap a destiny.

What do you think? Is our future setin stone or do you think we have some say in the matter?

If you look at where you are today,would you say that, on the whole, it has been your own choices and decisionsthat have brought you ‘here’?

If you agree that how you havethought and acted has created your ‘today’? Would you agree that how you thinkand act today is shapes your future?

Some things we can’tchange. One thing we can change though is our own habits and soour destiny. How do we begin? It beginswith a choice, the choice to take personal responsibility for ourselves and ourlife.

‘You matter, what you do matters,

and whatyou do today can change your future possibilities.’

Next, set your intention. What is your dreamof your future? What does the future you feel like? Happy or sad? Our future visionis going to determine (consciously or unconsciously) the decisions we make. Itis your destination.

Then, when we set outon a journey besides our destination we also need to know where we are startingout from. So, we also need to learn about our present self so we know what weneed to change and do to reach our destination. Only don’t think too much! Toomuch thinking and we miss ourselves, allow your mind to become quiet. A stillmind is needed for there to be clarity. Agood tool is to begin and end the day with meditation.

Now, knowing where you are and where you want to go,just be ever ready for all the opportunities that present themselves to you for you tolearn and grow into who you want to be. We often miss opportunities because we are focusing on the problem not the opportunity init; we fear of making the wrongdecision; we aren’t prepared; we hesitate or we give up too soon. However, to move forward seize the opportunity.Life is now and the time is now. Stay focusedon the positive possibility and then you can’t lose out, because even if it doesn’t’work out’ you’ll find that you have learnt something valuable.

Dreamand follow your dreams and see how your life changes. There will be enthusiasm justthinking about where you are going and you will be begin to enjoy the journeyas you know that all you are learning today is the beginning of greater thingsto come. The future then no longer seems fearful but a place eagerly anticipated.

Mood Management

2011-11-29T09:00:00.000Z

A mood is different from an emotional reaction. Emotions arelike the waves created on the surface of the lake by the wind. They tend to bereactions to external situations and short lived. Can you count how manyemotions you experienced today?

A mood is something deeper and that lasts for longer. Moods influenceour interpretation of events, our outlook and interactions with others. Theycan be positive or negative. Negative moods are often the influence of our pastexperiences. We can feel trapped in them and whatever we do we just can’t seemto shake it off!

How about the pessimistic (I’ll never get a job) versus the optimistic(I will get a job) mood? The ‘rejected’ mood with its pervading expectation ofrejection. The happy and light-hearted mood. The angry and fiery mood. The cooland unruffled mood.

Everyone wants to be in a positive mood don’t they? Doesanyone go on a course on how to create an unhappy mood? So, what can we do tofree ourselves from negative moods? The secret is to know our true value anduniqueness, and to divest ourselves of any false beliefs we may be holding.

We tend to define who we are based on our appearance, position,job or wealth rather than on our inner qualities, values and identity. We allshare an original state of peace, love, wisdom, purity and happiness. When webegin to work with these and express these we increase our self-respect, self-beliefand our positivity. As we align with our truth we feel more & more contentand less & less needy and our prevailing mood becomes more and more light andpositive. It just begins by choosing to generate something positive fromwithin.

Zero to Hero

2011-11-15T09:00:00.000Z

From a scale of 1 – 10, how would you rate how you feel about yourself? Are you a Zero (0) or a Hero (10)? Are you drowning in the bottomless pit of Zero or riding the crest of the Hero wave?

To state the obvious –

Zero = feel down, inadequate, insignificant, unworthy… Stuck in a rut. No matter how hard you work, you feel you’re getting nowhere…
Hero = the EXACT OPPOSITE… just change the negative to positive (i.e. worthy, significant etc…)

If you're feeling like a Zero it's most likely a result of your self-limiting beliefs. Remember the scene in “The Lion King”? Let me remind you … when Simba is crushed by his self-doubt, the spirit of his dead father, Mufasa, speaks “Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become.” So, go on, challenge your Zero status.

And on the days when you really hit rock bottom and think you’re a zero - look up. From zero anything and everything is possible. Zero is where we have zero limits. From zero the only way is UP!

Minus the Zero and become a Hero!

Break through those self–limitations. Stop the inner critic. Don't worry about being perfect, you’re allowed to have bad moments. Accept your appearance, mistakes, flaws and all. Believe in yourself completely and incorporate this belief into your attitude and personality.

Don’t underestimate your potential. Boost your self-esteem. Take an inventory of who you are. Recognise your personal strengths, skills and capabilities.

However…I’m afraid to say…there’s more to the process. Change and improve yourself to become the best that you can be.

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?” Steve Jobs.

Be the Hero. Make a difference. Face life like a hero in every situation and every moment.

"Hero is not the one who is powerful himself; Hero is the one who empowers others." Bill Gates

Stop Yapping. Start Communicating

2011-11-08T09:00:00.000Z

“Yap yap, you’re talkin’ too much, mmm
yes far too much…
you know you talk too much
yeah yap, yap, yap, its driving me down…”
- 'Yap Yap' by Keith Richards

Are you guilty of talking too much? Are you long winded when you speak? Why? Sometimes it's because we’re nervous or maybe it’s because we just love the sound of our own voice, or maybe we’re excited or had too much caffeine or simply have so much to say that we begin an overwhelming monologue. Actually, often, we feel so uncomfortable with silence that we feel obliged to fill every silent space with chatter!

While you go on and on, is the other person still listening? When we yap, people run away – if not physically then mentally. Most likely the other person spaced out ages ago, and all they’re hearing is “blah-blah-blah”. What we miss when we talk too much is the opportunity to build a rapport.

Now, here’s the thing, talking is good but a conversation is NOT a monologue. After all, a good conversation has an easy ebb and flow. It’s like a ball that’s tossed from person to person, with no one holding on to it for too long. So, don’t mistake verbal diarrhea for effective communication. Learn to share the conversation - speak, listen, speak, listen....

Reset your speaking habits. Talk, but zip up the yapping.

To be a good conversationalist:

- Slow down, take a deep breath and think before you speak. As you venture into a conversation, use words meaningfully.

- As you talk, it’s probably a good idea to check yourself: Have I been talking for too long? Can I say what I have to say in fewer words? Have I given the other person time to respond?

- Talk less and listen more. Don’t be an interrupter. Don’t assume you know what the other person will say - you don’t. Let them FINISH before you jump in. Be interested in what the other person has to say, and don’t feel you have to fill all the dead air - be comfortable with the silent spaces.

- Be a good listener and stop getting caught up in your head or sidetracked by your emotions. Listen with full attention.

Do you have to Exaggerate?

2011-11-01T09:00:00.002Z

Exaggerate much? "That was the best movie ever… I'm freezing... My whole day is ruined... She's always rude..." or have you ever slightly exaggerated your achievements during a job interview or on your CV?

It’s so easy to multiply and magnify situations – we’ve all done it. Turning nothing into something! We exaggerate numbers, lengths of time, emotions, degrees of like or dislike and so many other things.

Why is it so tempting to stretch the truth? Is the truth not interesting enough? When you exaggerate does it help to get your message across? Does it make things sound more entertaining? Look below the words - are you trying to show off?

Or does your exaggeration reflect realities you’d like to create - as a way to “fake it ’til you make it”?

Even though exaggeration seems harmless, steer away from over-exaggerating. It just makes things more complicated and difficult in our minds, when we make things bigger than they are. Is it worth making a mountain out of a molehill, much ado about nothing? Not really!

And more importantly, every time we exaggerate we’re distorting reality. It’s seen as a form of lying! With every lie, we’re most likely to lose the trust of others. Exaggeration weakens our argument.

Even worse, when a situation really matters and does merit attention, people may not be willing to listen to what we have to say or take us seriously!

What are the solutions for the exaggeration temptation? Well, it’s okay to exaggerate to make people laugh or to lighten the atmosphere. Use exaggeration to emphasize and magnify the positive, just don't over-do it.

Actually, let’s change our vocabulary – replace Exaggerate with Accentuate. Simple! We no longer exaggerate, we accentuate. How does that sound?

Remember, you don't need to exaggerate at every moment. It's not needed. Learn to be realistic. Stay focused on the specifics, the facts, and don’t allow emotions to get the better of you. Be honest and trustworthy and you will be respected more!

Worry Not

2011-10-25T09:00:00.004+01:00

Are you a worrywart? It’s so easy to get caught up in thinking about ‘bad things and unpleasant scenarios’ that may happen, and then embellish them with so many details! Are you worrying about your job, family, finances, health, relationships and, well, just about everything else? With all these worries, most of us could write a book on the “worry syndrome”.

But what’s the use of worrying? Sometimes it seems like a good idea. “It shows I’m a caring person”. It’s also a brilliant motivator, helping us to solve potential problems.

However, worrying is a draining exercise! The mind is so pre-occupied in the “worry marathon”; peace of mind no longer exists. And the worst part is that we’re no longer able to enjoy the present moments.

So, what can we do?

* Try to get the worries out! Fish them out. Write them down.

* Don’t see worrying as a sign of how responsible you are.

* Challenge your worries.

* Identify productive and unproductive worry.

* Do one more thing (hang on, it’s explained below – just keep reading). And then set them free!

Before you set them free, you need to deal with the productive and unproductive worries.

You know the unproductive worries? The ones you have no control over? Most of us worry too much because we have a need to be certain about everything. But the only certainty is uncertainty. Things happen. Accept it. Become like a surfer. Don’t go against the waves of uncertainty, just ride them out. Work on your personal resilience so that when things do go wrong, you have the ability to deal with them.

What about ‘productive worries’? Remember, worrying in it self, doesn’t improve the situation. It’s so not a healthy habit. Instead of worrying, think constructively. Think your way to solutions. Think about the desired results. Think thoughts that make the situation better.

Set aside 10 minutes daily or weekly “worry time” (like me-time). Postpone worrying to this allocated time. And when you catch yourself worrying at other times, “STOP”, not now, later!

Are You Being too Vague?

2011-10-18T18:17:00.006+01:00

Welcome to the wonderful world of vague communication! Here's where we speak in vague generalities.

At times we are intentionally vague. It’s just easier to ‘small talk’ in a friendly way. It saves time in a conversation. It also stops people interfering in our life. Believe me, some people can be so inquisitive, wanting to know everything, even though it’s none of their business.

Do you think it’s best to communicate vaguely? Well, being vague does have its ups and downs. In some situations, less information is more. But vague should not be in vogue. Vagueness at the wrong time just causes problems.

Vague communication isn't easy to understand. It lacks important information and produces vague results. So, take the vagueness OUT of your communication.

Did you know that words account for less than 20% of communication, so it makes sense to ensure that your words are clear!

How many times have you asked someone to do something and then got mad because they didn’t do it accurately? Let’s just look at this: were you clear in your explanation or were you dropping hints hoping they would get the message? Don’t rely on vague hints to get your job done, otherwise you’ll wait all day. Just remember that everything we say is interpreted differently by different people.

There are times when we’re vague and gloss over stuff because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. But if we want relationships to grow and flourish, sometimes it’s worth taking a few risks. How? Get good at expressing yourself honestly and respectfully without the fear of offending.

And when you’re being vague, others may take advantage of your confusion or inability to set a firm expectation. I’m sure you’ve noticed how kids jump all over vagueness, especially when boundaries aren't clearly defined. So, watch out for vagueness.

Catch yourself when you’re being too vague, and work on eradicating it. Try elaborating on what you mean, give examples.....

Is this post vague? Are you still trying to decipher my point?

In the habit of being Untidy

2011-10-11T09:00:00.001+01:00

Noticed how there’s always more important things to do than cleaning? "I’ll leave this here for a while & put it away later..." How soon do you ever get back to it? As things get tossed around, it doesn’t take long for things to get cluttered. Huge piles of papers sometimes become mini-avalanches; piles of clothes cover the floor until you forget what the floor looks like. And then you can’t find your keys, phone, documents etc when you need them. Being untidy means you spend lots of time being stressed. Does it still seem worth being messy?

For some, inspiration and creativity often reside in clutter. Didn't Alexander Fleming discover penicillin from moldy, neglected Petri dishes! For a naturally untidy person, untidiness is just an expression of their personality. For them, being tidy is overrated, a waste of time, as they can locate what they need from the mess that no one else can make sense of.

For most, it’s really a waste of time, when you can't find the right things when you need them and have to search for everything everyday. And think about all that dirt, “ewww”! It's time to clean up. Just don't become a 'clean' freak'. Be organised enough. Don’t spend too much time cleaning. And don’t worry if others don’t share your passion for tidying up. The key is being flexible, in the end it’s all about balance and being happy.

Here’s a few tricks to make tidying up fun:
- Play music while you clean! Listen! Sing! Clean!
- Throw junk mail away immediately
- Reduce. Reduce. Reduce. Twice a year, get rid of extra stuff you don't want or need
- Have a weekly specific time slot to do the basic cleaning

Remember: cleaning can be very therapeutic. Some say that the mess around you equals a messy mind. Cleaning frees up the mind to refocus and be more productive.

Creating Synchronicity

2011-10-08T09:00:00.000+01:00

Living in synchronicity… to be in the flow and find life to be full of magic moments, wonder and enjoyment. Instead of labouring hard to make things happen, the right things just seem to happen like little miracles. Stop and feel ‘How is my life?’

Choose to Invest in ‘You’

First of all begin investing in ‘you,’ by getting to know and understand ‘you’ and by developing your potential. To invest in ourselves means to bring out the best in ourselves. It means to invest time in self-discovery and learning the art of conversing with ‘you.’ Who are you really and what is your purpose here? How do I really want to feel? As we begin to realise our value and values we start to accept and love ourselves and find that beautiful things start coming into our lives and that our lives begin to flow.

Set Your Intention
It is important that our intention is clear. Ask yourself: Why do I do what I do? What is my intention in doing this? To contribute? To take?

If our intention is to become the best that we can be, we will find that life will start bringing to us whatever it is we need to become that and develop those qualities. We will start attracting the right people and opportunities into our lives. In fact life is always offering us opportunities it is just that when we are caught up in day to day things and worries we don’t always see them. By being clear about our intention we awaken to the opportunities in front of us, we even start to welcome difficult situations as they become opportunities to grow.

Invest in Your Mind
Our thoughts create our ‘state of mind.’ So start thinking in terms of how to benefit yourself. Take off the old record of ‘life is unfair’ for example and put on a new one, such as, life is beautiful and I am the hero of my life.

Invest in Your Vitality
Also, in meditation connect with your higher levels of energy of peace, love and happiness. We tend to be in a low vibration, where there are problems, complaints, anxiety and fear. Low energy attracts low energy. Meditation creates higher energy and strength to conquer problems and fear and to live with trust.

Look out for:
Indecision. Ask, ‘Will this help me to grow?’ rather than ‘What do I want?’
Resistance. Often we resist opportunities as we are afraid to leave our comfort zone, even if we aren’t happy it is familiar and we don’t have to make any effort
Wanting to be in Control. We can’t be in the flow if we are trying to control. It is good to plan a bit, only don’t over-plan. Planning less we are more open to what comes, and this often turns out to be better than we expected.
Expectations: of our self, others and life. Expectations cut the flow. Instead know who you are build your own inner strength and resilience, then we are better able to accept others and allow them to be who they are.

Time To Stop Being Tired

2011-10-04T09:00:00.000+01:00

“Hello.”
“Oh Hello, how are you?”
“Tired.”
“Me too. It was a long day.”
“Yeah. I’m beat!”

A snippet of a conversation, you might hear at home, work or even on the train. We all seem to be complaining about how tired we are.

And when we’re tired, most of us try to push through it. But that doesn’t mean we have a productive day. Tiredness just makes us cranky and sloppy. And what’s worse, the more we push, the more tired we become! It never ends. Often it just leads to fatigue and burnout.

Why are YOU so tired? Is it because you’re trying to cram too much into your day? Are you overdoing it? Are you stressed, tense? Examine your current lifestyle and find out exactly what the reason is. Catch the culprit!

If you’re constantly tired – let me tell you – it’s no way to live. Make easy changes to improve your energy levels.

Give yourself a boost:

Eat healthy. Cut down on the sugar. Eat smaller meals, frequently and you’ll avoid the sluggishness that comes with digesting large meals. But do not SKIP breakfast.
Exercise regularly.
Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water. Water, yes? (I’m onto you, no sugary drinks!)
Get Quality Sleep. Make time to pack up all your thoughts from the day and then put your mind to rest. Unwind, relax and switch off - experiment to find a method that works best for you.

When you’re having a tired moment, you might want to:

Change the AC setting or open the window. Warm and stuffy environments create drowsiness.
Like a cat, STETCH! Stretch your arms, neck and shoulders.
Step outdoors and grab some fresh air.

Here’s something else - often, it’s not just our lifestyle but our thoughts that make us tired. Negative thinking = low energy. Positive thinking = high energy. So, the next time you’re feeling tired, you might want to simply check and change the quality of your thoughts.

Tiredness also happens when we’re devoid of motivation. Work up your motivation and passion for life. It’ll give you vitality – the energy to get up, get set, and go!

Are you guilty of being superficial?

2011-09-27T09:00:00.001+01:00

Being superficial is looking on the surface, at the outside rather than what's truly inside. The cars people drive, their style, beauty, fashion... we're all guilty of it. At the same time, we become so fixated on other people's lives (and on celebrities) that we view their lives more than our own.

Do one thing. Stand in front of the mirror. What do you see? Your face, the blemishes, the hair ... We seem to get caught up in our superficial labels and physical attributes: job, roles, achievements - valuing the superficial over the deep.

Being superficial is also acting from the surface, rather than from the depth of ourselves. Why? Are we just trying to fit in with everyone else? Or is it because we want to impress or please others? Or are we fearful of being different? Of being rejected?

Turning inwards allows us to see our true self - a point of radiant light filled with peace, positivity and power.

What does it cost you to live on a superficial level? Would you like to be more real? How?

Try this: take time out to meditate and discover the depth of your true self... Like a tortoise withdraws into its shell, I too can withdraw my energy from everything I see around me. Moving beyond the superficial labels and masks, I turn my attention within. Turning inwards allows me to see my true self - a point of radiant light filled with peace, positivity and power.

The more we experience our true self, the more we can express our true self and be our true self no matter what is happening around us.

Go on, develop a deep connection with yourself and stay aligned with your truth. Go beyond the surface to see inwards, and learn to live from your depth. See the depth of character, depth of emotion and depth of quality in the world around you.

Be real. Be genuine. Be authentic.

Be yourself - in EVERYTHING that you are and in EVERYTHING you do!

If Only: To Regret or Not Regret?

2011-09-20T09:00:00.001+01:00

Have you ever wished you had a time machine to go back in time and change something? Hmmm, maybe even to change many things! Maybe those opportunities you’ve missed? or “I wish I hadn’t shouted at him, then maybe we'd still be talking” or “If only I’d put more effort in, I’d have got better results”.

Actually, which do you regret more: action or inaction? How many times have you caught yourself thinking “Oh, if only...” – wishing that things had turned out differently? What would you do differently if you could do it over?

Regret = a waste of time, emotion and energy. Regret clouds our thinking and stands in the way of being happy in the present. Wallowing in disappointment and dissatisfaction doesn’t change the past.

So, what to do: to regret or not to regret?

Make the decision not to be hampered by regret, instead leverage the regret to your advantage.

Here’s how:
1) Accept the past – it’s made you who you are today. (Can’t argue with that can you?) Whatever happened - happened for a reason.
2) Unfold regret and find the “tucked away” wisdom. What can be learnt from the experience?
3) Harness the lessons learnt. To prevent similar regrets, what will you do differently in the future?
4) Let go of the pang of regret. And Move On!

Warning: Give yourself some slack, and don’t beat yourself up about the past. However, don’t be too easy on yourself either, otherwise you'll just make the same mistakes again.

Remember: It's no use crying over spilt milk. But if you don’t recognise the importance of the spilt milk you may just end up spilling more later on. So, don’t cry over the spilt milk, take action to keep regret out of your life.

At the end of the day, you need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with who you are. Live purposefully. Live meaningfully. Live life fully!

Quit The Quibble

2011-09-13T09:00:00.000+01:00

Quibble, Quibble, Quibble… QUIBBLE is to find fault, argue or bicker over unnecessary details.

Quibble over the small stuff and the important stuff might get forgotten or left un-dealt with, all because attention gets diverted from the larger and deeper problems. So is quibbling useful or is it just a waste of time and energy?

The thing is, nobody’s perfect and that’s why the quibble game is so easy to play. If people were perfect, then quibbling would be a tough game. The quibbler can always point out other options and criticise others, after all there are different ways to do most tasks.

Of course, we all have our fair share of arguments BUT keep it up and you might find yourself in ‘quibble town’, population you! Why? Some people may think you're being contrary and get frustrated and they might just give up on talking to you.

So, try rethinking your habitual interactions because quibbling rarely accomplishes anything.

Let's Not Quibble

Don’t get caught up with emotions and egos. Give up your right to be right. Accept that others have their own views and opinions.

That’s not to say avoid arguments, but it’s not necessary to debate the truth every day. Just choose your battles. If the small details don’t really help you to get your point across, just move on.

Be flexible. "In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current." - Thomas Jefferson

Let’s Talk

When you really need to point out small details: STOP! Take “time out”, step away, and just cool down. Then calmly highlight and discuss the details. Communicate in a way that enhances the relationship.

For the long-term, here’s a solution – work on being content and happy with where you are and what you’re doing, then all the unnecessary quibbling will Just Stop!

Anger Management

2011-09-10T14:12:00.001+01:00

We say, ‘Don’t get mad!’ to each other, and yet at times ‘mad’ we get, and hearts get hurt and later there is regret. So, what can we do to manage our anger? First of all comes our intention. Do I really want to change this pattern of behaviour? Do I want the choice to respond differently?

Where Does Anger Begin?
It begins very fast with a little thought of dislike or displeasure and then moves with a force and speed all of its own. Every time we express anger it tightens its grip on us, as anything we do repeatedly gets hard-wired within us. However, this also gives us the answer as to how to re-wire.

Re-Wire
We can re-wire by choosing to create a new pattern of behaviour, the old habit then dissolves through lack of use. The most effective pattern to overlay anger is to choose, from now on, to discover and express the best in ourselves. Recognise, experience and express the best of yourself. If we say it is impossible we put it beyond our reach. When we say it is possible there are no limits. We all have our own unique specialities and potential. A leopard can change its spots!

What or Who Pushes ‘My’ Buttons?
We also need to understand what is going on inside ourselves. What or who pushes ‘my’ buttons? When a button is pressed, take a pause and see what is going on. Don’t suppress, just pause and observe. See if you can see things from a different perspective. Give yourself as long as you need, be it 5 minutes, 5 days or longer. Just don’t allow an instant reaction. If you need to, say ‘I’ll have to get back to you on that.’

Nurture Contentment
Can you be angry and grateful at the same time? Start appreciating, count your blessings and acknowledge others' good points. Fill your heart with gratitude.

A Day

At the Beginning of the Day
First thing in the morning set your mind on the track you want it to run on for the day. Schedule in 10 minutes to be with yourself and create 'that' feeling be it peace, happiness, love, tolerance, contentment…

During the Day
-Stop your train of thoughts every now and then, even for just 10 seconds, and re-capture that morning’s experience.

-Between meetings, phone calls or tasks, check in with yourself: Could I have done anything differently? Not better but differently.

-If you see something that you don’t like, pause and ask yourself: What would I have done if I was them? You may not get whole story, but you can get an inkling. This re-directs our mind from building dislike into anger, plus it can broaden our understanding. We haven’t suppressed anything, we have dissolved the seed before it took hold.

-Stuck in a traffic jam or a situation that is trying to provoke you? Have at hand a ready made recording of peaceful, accepting and positive thoughts. Switch it on straight away and invest in these thoughts, rather than fuel your irritation.

At the End of Day
Check in with yourself and ask yourself two questions:
1) What could I have done differently?
2) What did I learn today?
These two questions work wonders in keeping us on track to bring out the best in us and transform that which we no longer want.

Are you a Pessimist or an Optimist?

2011-09-06T09:00:00.000+01:00

Okay, so imagine half a glass of water, in front of you. Do you see the glass as half full or half empty? Do you view things from an optimistic or a pessimistic viewpoint? Which are you? A mixture of both or are you leaning more towards one side? Here’s the third choice (it’s the one I would go for), an optimist who occasionally engages in pessimism?

Pessimism = negative perception of life. Optimism = positive perception of life. (Makes sense now?)

A pessimist believes life will always be difficult, whereas an optimist believes that life will get better. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Your perception can make that little but significant difference between failure and success. It has a great influence on how well you do in life and how you respond to adversity.

That’s why, when the going gets tough, not only will the optimist get tougher, they will also try harder and keep trying long after the pessimist has given up.

Optimists are generally less stressed and far more likely to be healthier than pessimists. But a pessimist will not consider themselves as negative. Rather they believe they have a more accurate take than an optimist who is “Pollyanna”, someone who’s out of touch with reality or looking through rose tinted glasses.

What to do? Stay a pessimist or emigrate from the land of Pessimism. How to emigrate? Ha! It’s so easy! All you need to do is broaden your scope for a moment and step outside of your negative perspective. Shift + Change your perception. View the situation from a different light. Become more optimistic. Focus on the possibilities and not the impossibilities.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

2011-08-30T09:00:00.003+01:00

So many things to do, so little time… or just the thought of the amount of work required to do one task… ughhh! It all makes us feel overwhelmed.

When we feel overwhelmed we think and think about how much we have to do, and end up not getting much done.

Whilst "overwhelm" happens to the best of us, we don’t have to live in a state of "overwhelm." So, overcome this sense of "overwhelm" and get out of this habit. How, you might ask?

1. Challenge the belief that we achieve more under stress. Understand that the feeling of being overwhelmed clouds the mind, stopping any problem-solving or clear thinking. We might think that the energy of stress is stimulating us but, in fact, it’s temporary and when it’s over we feel drained.

2. Calm Down. Try these simple 2 minute exercises to calm your mind and return back to a place of relaxation. (Give it a go and let us know how it works. We definitely want to know!)

• Focus on your breathing. Relax all the muscles, from the head right down to the tip of your toes.
• Think: I am CALM! Create a feeling of calm. Feel it, and take that feeling of calm into your day.
• Sit back, reconnect with the present moment and just be.
• Take yourself (your mind) on a quick holiday. Visualise à enjoy the sea, the breeze and come back feeling refreshed.

3. Put things into perspective. “Overwhelmed” happens when we call what we have to do “overwhelming.” Have a good look at your to-do list - I bet there’s no such task that’s titled ‘Overwhelm’. Imagine a dog saying, “I have to walk, sniff, eat, pooh and guard the house all day long. It’s all so overwhelming.” Rethink: I have exactly what I need; to do what there is to do. I have exactly the amount of time that I need.

4. Simply simplify the to-do list. Prioritise what needs to be done first. Break the task down into small steps. Put a time limit on each step. And finally, the task to completion.

Stop neglecting! Start Nurturing

2011-08-23T09:00:00.001+01:00

Look back at your life and check: in the process of getting where you are today what have you neglected?

Right now, check where you are in life:
- What are you neglecting that would propel you towards success, to the best person you could be?
- Are you paying enough attention, any attention or no attention to what’s truly important to you?

And why are you neglecting it? The answer, of course, varies…

When tasks become urgent or when life gets out of balance, it’s all too easy for us to instantly neglect everything else.

Sometimes, we wake up with the best of intentions but inexcusably get caught up doing this, that and the other and lose focus on what really requires our direct attention. I hate to say it but ‘busyness’ is just another form of distraction. Most often, we’re neglecting what’s important because we’re wasting our time in unnecessary things.

Neglect is not a new thing! Really and truly, neglect doesn't happen overnight. It usually starts with small things and gradually expands into several other areas.

Negligence at work = mistakes, accidents and losses happen.

Neglect of the self = physical, mental and emotional well-being are affected over time.

So who loses out? Me, that’s who! The habit of neglect stops us from achieving our potential.

Neglect = Reject! So, stop neglecting. Put an end to this habit. Start nurturing. Nurture what’s important. It’s that straightforward. Nurture your wellbeing. Nurture your goals and dreams. Nurture your relationships.

What’s the one thing that you know would make a difference – which you’re neglecting? Now, recognise the value of what needs to be done and put what you’re neglecting into your list of priorities. Invest time and attention to incorporate it into your life.

From Mood to Mood

2011-08-16T09:00:00.001+01:00

Bad moods happen. There are days when we all feel down! Where no matter how bright and sunny the weather, we’re in a mood. And most of us allow our moods to get the better of us.

So, how do you deal with the mood? Do you eat yourself silly or spend time snapping at everyone who crosses your path…? No one likes to be around us when we turn sour.

When in a huff, we tend look for things to fuel the bad mood. Why? We’re subconsciously trying to justify that our mood is valid, that it’s OK to be in a bad mood.

Well, we can stay gloomy for a while but … there has to be a point when we say STOP – stop being moody. Give yourself a boost and pull yourself out of the mood.

Do things that make you happy, think happy thoughts and hang out with happy people. Happiness is contagious. If you’re with a happy person, you’re likely to feel happy too.

And when you’re in a better mood, make time to understand what put you in that mood. There’s obviously a reason for it. Was it a particular event or person or thing? Notice what triggered your bad mood. Now, don’t blame. If you do, you’re allowing others’ behaviour, situations, expectations, the media or whatever to control your mood.

Take responsibility for your mood. Go a bit deeper and really listen to your emotions. Know what really caused your mood. What’s really bugging you?

The aim is to avoid mood swings and become good mood managers. To do this you need to understand how your thoughts shape your moods. Choose to think unhappy thoughts and you’ll most likely be in a bad mood.

We need to take hold of the reigns of our mind, shift negative to positive and consciously create happy thoughts. It really comes down to choice. It’s as simple as thinking your mood away!

So, what will you do to strengthen your emotional muscles and master your moods? Our suggestions are: eat balanced meals, get restful sleep, meditate and exercise. Start the day with the thought: Today I choose to be happy, to feel good, no matter what.

The Relationship Equation: A + E = C

2011-08-11T11:31:00.003+01:00

Attitude
Our attitude is created by our thoughts and influenced by whatever is in our memory. Our attitude determines our outlook, how we interpret what we see and how we act.

2 primary attitudes:
1) The attitude of taking (wanting.) Here our mind is thinking ‘I want…’ all the time. As a result we are motivated to go out shopping, to work etc. in order to have what we ‘want.’ {Note: wants are different from needs, see here}
2) The attitude of giving. Here our mind is filled with thoughts of understanding, mercy and compassion. Our motivation is to act is ‘what is needed here?’ or ‘what can I give or contribute here?’

When we have an attitude of giving our relationships begin to flourish, as they become about sharing and learning from each other rather than expectations and disappointments.

Behind the attitude of giving are three powers:
1) Tolerance. If our mind is thinking ‘I want…’ it is restless and unhappy and we become impatient and intolerant. Tolerance, in contrast, springs from compassion and understanding between us grows.
2) Patience. Tolerance allows patience to grow. Patience means that we don’t get easily irritated, upset or displeased and enables us to stay respectful towards others.
3) Contentment. We may have many possessions and yet be discontent; always thinking I want. When we are content we don’t think ‘I want,’ we know the true value of things and are able to appreciate what each moment brings.

Emotions
In relationships emotions play a big part, and suppressed emotions (the deep hurts that we carry) sometimes exploded. Suppression isn’t good, what we need to do is to be able to dissolve these feelings, like a river running into the ocean becomes merged in it. Spirituality gives us the power to do this; to forgive, let go and let the past be past.

We need to make ourselves strong and stable inside. Focus your thoughts on your true self and your original qualities: peace, love, purity, happiness and truth. When we focus of ourselves in this way our limits and barriers melt away. Take time out to re-discover these highest qualities within yourself, then by sharing them with the world we build up our inner strength.

At the same time, be aware of making molehills into mountains. Thinking too much about situations or others magnifies them and we end up making them into huge burdens for ourselves. Instead of focusing on ‘Why did this happen?’ ask, ‘What is needed here?’ Be like the emergency services, the fireman, for example, doesn’t stop to ask ‘How did this fire start?’ he just acts to put the fire out. Then, move on.

Communication
When our attitude is of giving (respectful) and our emotions ‘clean’ (nothing suppressed) then there can be a connection of love between us and we don’t need many words to understand each other. We are able to leave ego aside we are able to listen to others and accept what they say.

We meet and shake hands and east and west can come together and become best.

Alone, Not Lonely

2011-08-09T09:00:00.001+01:00

Loneliness is not just about being on our own when we don’t want to be. Loneliness occurs even when we’re "in a crowd." Even though we come into contact with many people during our daily routine -in the office, on our commute, socially or even online- yet we can still feel disconnected!

Loneliness can be as much about being isolated from our own self as it is about feeling isolated from people and places.

So, is it possible to remove the feeling of loneliness? The answer . . . wait for it . . . YES! How? Well, as Tennessee Williams wrote, “When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.” Just remember this: you may feel lonely but chances are you are not alone nor are you the only one feeling lonely.

Step out of your comfort zone and actively build healthy relationships. There is a whole world out there - a world of billions!

You might want to be more approachable. Smile more and see what a difference it makes. How about reducing the time you spend online! Another effective way to break the pattern of loneliness is volunteering and helping others. Get out there, do something, anything!

But be careful not to make your schedule too busy; make sure to leave some time for yourself because loneliness is really about you being disconnected from yourself. So, get better at being alone without being lonely. Create some “alone time”.

Being alone is healthy but spending all your time alone in a state of loneliness isn’t.

So remember, alone does not mean lonely. Alone means to feel comfortable in your own skin, to accept yourself as you are. Be your own best friend and start accepting all your flaws. YOU’RE WORTH IT!

As you get more and more comfortable being alone, try going a step further. Go out by yourself and do things that you would normally do with others. Like watching a film or eating at a restaurant – its cool!

Simply put, it’s about balancing your “alone time”, your “getting out time” and your “time with others”.

Survive and Thrive: Flexibility

2011-08-05T14:00:00.000+01:00

Which has more important to you: work, life outside work, both or can you flex and balance? If work more important is it that you tied up your value with what you ‘do’? If it is life outside work it have you become inflexible with work? Are you afraid of taking on new projects changing jobs? Do you limit what you might achieve in this way? Then again, are you trying to be superwoman or superman? Only, trying to do it all we end up exhausted, have little or no reserve for the unexpected and may even burn out! Is it possible to find a balance and feel fulfilled in all areas of our lives whilst still having some time for ‘me’ time and resilience to deal with the unexpected?

Inflexibility
Inflexibility makes us rigid and un-resilient. This happens when we become over-identified with a particular image of success, a sign of this is that we become afraid of loosing that position. When we are addicted to approval, do you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to anything? When we keep within our comfort zone and don’t consider that we might have a greater potential? When we are hemmed in by low self esteem and don’t feel good enough or believe in ourselves.

Flexibility
When something is flexible, for example, a palm tree it can survive massive storms. Its’ roots run deep. Applying this to ourselves... when we know ourselves deeply we can bend without compromising ourselves (we can stay aligned to who we truly are.) A palm tree is always a palm tree, it doesn't resit the storms or become overwhelmed by them.

Exercise 1: See yourself at your best. Recall a time when you did something that you were really pleased with. What qualities were you using? These are your core qualities.

Exercise 2: Think of 3 animals. What quality does each of these animals embody for you? The first one is how you see yourself; the second how others see you and the third is who you are.

Exercise 3: Try meditation: let go of the externals, put down your defences, focus on the word 'peace' and allow yourself to internally expereice peace. See here for an on-line meditation on peace.

When we feel at our best nothing is too much of a big deal. Otherwise we hiding (staying within our comfort zones) or on the defensive (seeing threats to our status quo everywhere.)

A Know-It-All

2011-08-02T09:00:00.001+01:00

It’s like being a living breathing walkie-talkie encyclopaedia- with answers for just about anything and everything!

It’s easy to be perceived as a know-it-all and not even realise it. Unfortunately most of us have started off with “Did you know…?” even when we weren’t asked for our opinion (that includes me!)

A know-it–all attitude is not always considered a great thing. It can make others allergic to you and alienate you. It takes away the mystery that life has to offer.

I know-it-best
As a know-it-all, a lot of the times we think we have it all "figured out," we think we know-it-best. We assume that we KNOW what's going on, what's going to happen, what to do when it does and what other people will do.

When that happens, you’re deciding that you don’t need to know any more. You’re probably restricting yourself and cutting off avenues of learning. You stop growing and progressing.

So, tune into your attitude and ask yourself:
• What subjects or areas of expertise do you tend to be a know-it-all in?
• Who do you use your know-it-all attitude on? Are you trying to impress your friends, colleagues or even the boss?
• How do those on the receiving end react to your know-it-all ways?

Be knowledgeable. Not a know-it-all.
You’re good at what you do, and with experience you develop confidence since you do know-it-most! Don’t let your know-how sit in your pocket. Make sure you share your know-how when you’re asked. And, when you actually really ‘know’ what you’re talking about.

But remember, you don’t know-it-all! So, know when to stop being a know-it-all. Know when to say “What do you think?" and listen and learn from those around you.

Inner Wizard

2011-07-29T11:00:00.003+01:00

What is a Wizard or Witch? They are visionaries; masters of the elements (they understand the laws of energy and nature); keepers of ancient knowledge and teachers. They focus on their and others’ potential; they see the bigger picture and work with it… and they fulfil a big destiny.

They are associated with good and using their talents for the benefit of humanity, but not always. They have the potential to use their minds and talents for ‘bad’ too.

What is wizardry? Essentially, wizardry is the power to transform. That’s what magic is! It is using the power of the mind as a force for good.

INNER WIZARD

I is for… Inner thoughts

N is for… No heavy thoughts and to wear the incognito invisibility cloak of positive of thoughts that create a protective shield around us.

N is for… No limits. Discovering your dormant and latent potential and learn how to use it. When we begin on this journey of self discovery we don’t believe that we would ever say of ourselves: I am kind, I am patient, I am peaceful for example. Write a list of your positive qualities.

E is for… the mirror of Erised ‘ … shows deepest desperate heart’s desire, which is neither knowledge or truth. Not showing what is real or even possible … men have gone mad … it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to love …’ Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K.Rowling)

R is for… Remember. It is possible to ‘defeat’ negative thoughts by knowing and understanding why they happen and by not being frightened of them. Employ defence against the dark arts: meditation, good food, exercise, good company, fresh air and deep breathing. Our own doubtful thoughts about ourselves and our abilities are like ‘dementors’ – they drain us of our energy and make us unsure of ourselves.

W is for… Why? What? Where? When? All these words take us on trains of thoughts that drain us.

I is for… Inner qualities. "Just like your mother, you're unfailingly kind. A trait people never fail to undervalue..." (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince J.K. Rowling)

Z is for… Zimbo’s circus. We need the power of discernment to see what is real and what is illusion, the difference real magic and the ‘circus.’ Illusion and entertainment pull us, only they lead us down the wrong path.

A is for… Appreciation and Abundance. Do we see what we have? So many times, for example, Harry Potter feels deep love for his friends and Hogwarts- it sustains him and helps stay loving.

R is for… Regular practise, this helps us when things get tough. The things we have practised regularly become our habits and so provide us with a strong foundation.

D is for … Death ‘… to the well organised mind, death is but the next great adventure …’ Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, J.K. Rowling)

Jealousy

2011-07-26T09:00:00.001+01:00

Have you ever resented someone because of their success? OR justified their success, with some trivial reason, so that you can easily dismiss them and feel better? OR dismissed their success as "not my cup of tea”?

Most of the time jealousy is subtle. Most of us would be embarrassed to be caught with it, and yet jealousy happens. And when it does, it never feels good – it tastes a bit sour.

Simply put, jealousy is toxic. It can create distance and disconnection in our relationships and communication. We may even say or do things that we might later regret. It leads us to misinterpret things, as there is a tendency to make a lot of assumptions.

So – what will you do to release yourself from “the J word”?

Here are 4 simple steps:
Step 1: Accept what you are feeling. Don’t fight it or ignore it.
Step 2: Loosen the hold it has over you by facing the feeling head on.
Step 3: Challenge your feelings of jealousy: Do I have valid reasons? Am I insecure? Am I being overly controlling and suspicious?

Now, here’s the most important step:
Step 4: Zoom in on what you’re jealous of, not on the person but on their positive energy and qualities.

Instead of allowing the jealousy to bring you down, make your jealousy smarter. Turn your jealousy into a positive, productive emotion. Hold your head up high! Make it work for you. Let jealousy lead you towards inspiration. Motivate and inspire yourself to go for what you really want in life.

Tap into your Subconscious Mind

2011-07-21T10:53:00.003+01:00

The subconscious mind is the unconscious mind. It is the hidden part of the iceberg. It is the big, heavy suitcase that we are carrying balanced on top of our head. The one that, if asked, ‘What is in that suitcase that is so important that you never put it down?’ we would find ourselves answering something like, ‘I don’t really know. I have forgotten.’

Here are stored all our past experiences and memories, the ones that we no longer remember. They create our automatic behavioural patterns; reactions; fears and phobias; unaccountable likes and dislikes; dreams and the thoughts that pop into our heads from out of nowhere. Also, the skills we are born with, our natural talents and abilities, our values and qualities… these are the potential of our subconscious mind.

To tap into the best of your subconscious mind

What are you focusing on?
It is said that where our attention goes energy flows, so focus on your inner qualities (peace, love, happiness, truth) and not your mistakes and weaknesses. Then, play the game of seeing the best in others too.

Build-up your self-respect
Set out to discover your own intrinsic value. Even if we make a mistake or the project we are working on isn’t succeeding we are still valuable. See yourself as a valuable being and as being full of positive qualities. Open your heart to yourself; don’t try to be someone else. Also, by increasing our self respect we decrease our fear of ourselves (of the things we don’t like so much)

Live in the present
Be present and put the best of you into every moment… your peace, happiness, love, enthusiasm etc. Give 100%. If there is sadness in our consciousness by giving happiness we enable our consciousness to shift, rather than by dwelling on the sadness and trying to figure it all out.

Strengthen your intellect
We tend to think and act (react) with no space in-between and then regret it later. We can begin to change this by strengthening our intellect, our power to discern and decide. Our intellect acts as a filter. It filters our thoughts and reactions through the filter of our values. In order for it to work well first we need to be clear of our aim (purpose.) We can then further strengthen our intellect with reflection, a willingness to learn and meditation.

Become an observer of yourself
Practice stepping back, out of your mind, and see your thoughts and reactions as if you were observing someone else. If there are some things that you don't like don’t repress, suppress or be influenced by them. Accept them and then re-direct your mind to your positive qualities and values. Cleaning is a process, so be patient and one day you will wake up and discover you that you have become your best.

Avoid Indecision

2011-07-19T09:00:00.000+01:00

I thought I knew how to start this blog and now, “ummm… I’m not sure…” Indecision happens to the best of us.

So, why are we indecisive? Often we’re afraid to make the wrong choice, we’re afraid of what the outcome maybe. If this is the case, then make yourself understand that no-one ever makes the right decisions 100% of the time! In fact, life is a continuous stream of decision making. Look through your life – go on, turn the pages all the way back to page one. Just see how so many of your "wrong" decisions turn out to be the "right" ones and so many of your "right" decisions can be the "wrong" ones! So, remind yourself, again and again that there is NO formula for successful decision making. It’s all about trial and error. Repeat after me: I GIVE myself permission to make mistakes.

Avoid indecision:

Make decisions quickly, but don’t rush.
Give yourself time to think clearly. Think through all the avenues. View the alternatives. Make thoughtful decisions, but don’t take too long and over-think.
Set a time limit.
Know when you need to gather information and know when to work with less.

We all know how easy it is to help other people make their decisions and that’s because it’s easier to be objective when we’re not completely emotionally involved. So if you want to get good at making decisions, get good at stepping back from the situation, mentally and emotionally. Then you’ll know what’s best for you and what choice to make.

Once you’ve made the decision, don’t look back and re-hash it, especially if there is little or no option for change. If your decision is not working out, be flexible and see if changing it is an option. If you don’t have the option to change your decision, then like with anything else, just take the opportunity to make it work for you!

If you decide not to decide, that’s still a decision. So you see - there’s no avoiding it. Just be confident and make the decision. You made a decision – to read this.

In Celebration of Harry Potter!

2011-07-15T15:00:00.011+01:00

Today the last Harry Potter film goes on general release in the UK. To mark the occasion, here are some musing on 'Harry Potter' from a recent Sunday night talk...

H is for… Humility, which also enables us to face and have compassion for our ‘dark side’

A is for… Above . Play quidditch! Fly above everything. Get perspective. See the gold in yourself and in others, even with the bludgers and the enemy coming at you. There is an extra reward if you see the gold in this moment!

R is for… (the) Rules of Flying. We can fly around the world whilst sitting still in meditation only some rules do apply. We need to sit firmly on our seat of soul-consciousness and with purpose.

R is for… Real Love: ‘ … to have been loved so deeply .. even though the person who loved us has gone .. will give us some protection forever …’ Dumbledore talking to Harry about his mother’s love that protected him (Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone, J.K. Rowling)

Y is for… Your… Your friends and down time- we all need a place of downtime with our friends. The Weasley’s house was Harry’s place of fun, laughter, lightness and family.

P is for… Potential. What creates our fortune? ‘ … it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities’ – Dumbledore talking about the sorting hat and how it had determined Harry’s house. (The Chamber of Secrets, J.K. Rowling) Harry made a choice of truth; he didn’t want to be on the dark side even though he had great potential for it.

O is for… Openness. Have an open and honest heart then you will learn a lot!

T is for… Time Turner. “What we need," said Dumbledore slowly, and his light blue eyes moved from Harry to Hermione, "is more time." (The Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling) In real life we can’t physically be in two places at once- Hermione gets worn out with it! We can go everywhere with our thoughts though and learn everything whilst sitting in one place. We can feel how we are part of everything. We become the masters of time because our sense of time is really in our own heads.

T is for… Teachers. Harry doubts himself and that’s us too! So much potential can seem overwhelming if it’s not learned, directed and managed in the right way. We can’t do this alone, we need good teachers, role models and friends that are learning and making mistakes with us.

E is for… Exciting. Our lives can be full of challenges, mistakes, thrills, exciting moments, shared adventures and learning. Do you see it this way?

R is for… (the) Room of Requirement. If my heart is true and I really want it enough then I will get what I need to move forward.

Stop Being Hurt

2011-07-12T09:00:00.002+01:00

At some time or another we’ve all experienced our share of hurt. But sometimes, we become so wrapped up in the past that we continually replay scenes, events, sounds, images of THE person we believe “did me wrong”. As we recall the hurt, we’re recreating our feelings of hurt. At this point, I’m hurting me.

So, what to do with our feelings of hurt? How to get over them? Through comfort eating? And when you say, “I’m fine thank you, it doesn’t matter” – are you really over the hurt?

This is what NOT TO DO:
-Don’t push feelings of hurt aside – if you do they’ll just grow in the back of your mind and your heart.
-Don’t allow the behaviour of others to make you feel bitter or make you isolate yourself.

If the past has moved on, I CAN MOVE ON TOO. I can hear you asking, “How exactly am I supposed to do this?” Don’t worry, all you need to do is let go.

Letting go does not mean that nothing happened. It means that you no longer want to be controlled by it. Letting go does not mean minimising or excusing the wrong. It means releasing your feelings of hurt from your mind, from your heart.

So, just get all of the hurt out and move on to a better place. Just drop it. How do you drop a piece of hot coal you’re holding? How do you drop heavy, useless bags? By realising that you no longer want to carry the burden. It no longer serves you any purpose. Let go

It’s important to note that everybody handles hurt in different ways, so give yourself time and space. Sometimes it takes time to really let go. You might want to write down exactly how you feel. Be honest about how you feel, no one is going to read it. And then throw it away. You could also talk with the right person.
Once you’ve freed the hurt you can begin to smile and then the whole world looks different.

Curb Your Greed

2011-07-05T09:00:00.001+01:00

Greed - an old fashioned word but it still affects us all. We all have greed for something. A bigger house, a better career…? Are you aware of what you want? Yes, EVEN YOU!

How do you deal with greed? By getting what you want? I thought as much! And then what? More clothes, more shoes, more financial stability, more attention, more love…. “What I have at present is not good enough and needs replacing.” “I really fancy that latest iPod, the newest mobile phone …. ”

Our appetite just seems to grow – like seawater the more we drink, the thirstier we become. Gandhi said: “There is enough for everybody’s need, but not enough for anybody’s greed.”

Wanting more, having more, getting more... How do you feel when you get it all? Are you satisfied? For how long? With greed, frustration and unhappiness are unavoidable. Michelangelo claimed that his David, Pieta and other great sculptures were already present in the raw marble blocks. In the same way, you already have everything that you need. So, to be happy, be satisfied with all that you have and enjoy discovering all the potential you have deep within, like Michelangelo did.

Also start recognising how greed works for you and learn to curb and contain it. Keep count of:
- the “I want…” thoughts
- how many times you give in to greed
- the number of times you look away from greed and carry on

The best way to curb greed is to go in the opposite direction, go towards “generosity.” Give generously. Start with where you are. Start by giving what you have. So, start today - explore the new generous you!

Shift Fear

2011-06-28T09:00:00.003+01:00

Fear! We all have phobias. Fear of heights, fear of the spotlight, fear of commitment, fear of public speaking and the most famous fear of all – fear of the unknown.

Why is there fear? Is your fear based on reality? Do you find yourself seeking shelter in the arms of fear rather than taking up a challenge? Hmmm?

Fear is often no more than an over-active imagination. It’s not real until you make it real. If you keep thinking about it, guess what, your actions will actually be influenced by that fear, unconsciously of course! So, watch out!

If you have the ability to imagine all kinds of terribleness, you also have the capacity to imagine overcoming that terrible fear and imagine positive outcomes. 'How?' I hear you say. Simple – step back from fear and reach out for hope. Hope sees the problems, and at the same time looks for solutions.

So, if you lose your job don’t hold the fear, “now what am I going to do?” Look at it as a chance to maybe have a career change or even to pursue a lifelong dream. Now, did you ever think of that?

In the tug of war between Fear vs. Hope, Hope always wins! Hope persists, never leaving you even for a second. Even when you think there’s nothing left, a little remains – and that’s all you need to hold onto the promise of a better tomorrow. Hope, as the saying goes, springs eternal.

Live Life with Passion

2011-06-23T15:41:00.002+01:00

Are you loving what you do and doing what you love? Do you feel enthusiastic about what you are doing? Do you wake up feeling passionate about what you ‘have to’ do today or is more of a ‘I have to’ list?

We can have a lot of technical ability, only when there is no passion about what we are doing we feel that there is something missing and that we are just going through the motions. When we are passionate about what we are doing we feel alive and enthused.

How do we re-awaken our passion for life?
Do you feel you are living on purpose? Are your actions aligned with your purpose? If not, we might be physically present but our mind and heart will be elsewhere.

If you are not sure about your purpose? What is your dream? What do you dream to be? To do? Maybe, for example, you dream of a better world? The question then becomes what can I do in a practical way to make this tangible?

Often we are living someone else’s dream or someone else’s idea of who we should be. Why do we do this? It could be out of a desire to please others, to feel we belong or out of fear of rejection? When our actions are filled with intention and connected to our purpose we feel passionate about what we are doing.

Another clue... Today we often find ourselves running around in many directions chasing after many ‘desires.’ This leaves us feeling discontent and exhausted!

We are valuing what we have, and not who we are or can be. Purpose, however, is usually connected with being and giving. There are 3 essential desires that have a connection with our purpose. These are the desire to know, to be complete and to act.

To know. How many conversations do you have that are meaningful? Open your mind? Make you question things? We have around 30, 000 thoughts a day and around 95% of these are the same as the ones we had yesterday! We can nurture our passion to know with creative questions and rich conversations.

To be complete. This the energy of love. When we are born we feel incomplete and there is a desire to find what will make us complete. We tend to focus on relationships here, but this might also be through meditation and silence.

To act. We manifest ourselves through our actions. Our actions show what we think and feel. Adding purpose to our actions doesn’t necessarily mean changing jobs though, it can also be, say, to spread a little happiness. When our actions are filled with purpose we expereince passion for life.

Ego - Go

2011-06-21T09:00:00.002+01:00

How do you know when your ego is at work? “I am better than…” “I am not as good as…” Both these two expressions of ego are as bad as each other!

Ever caught yourself thinking, “Without me they wouldn’t have got as far as they did”. Well, that’s not you but your ego talking. Ego makes us arrogant, self-centered, stubborn and insecure.

Ego hides the weaknesses and then claims to the outside world that we have none. A lot of the time, ego enables us to see weaknesses in others but not our own. Ego is concerned only with how other peoples’ actions will affect us, and not how our actions might affect others.

So, shift ego! How? It’s not hard, trust me.

The next time you’re staring at ego follow this route, to make your journey smoother:

• With Success - keep going straight and take the next right onto “Share the Praise.” Enjoy success without the need to boast or gloat over your achievements. Appreciate the contributions of others and understand how you fit into the ‘picture’ of making the task successful.

• With your Skills – when you know you're very good at something and start feeling overconfident or even slightly cocky do a U-Turn. Recognise your talents but value yourself as a being (rather than just your skills) and continue back onto the main road “self respect”.

• When “offering suggestions” – when you hear yourself telling people what to do, make sure to take a turn, gently express your opinions without forcing them on others.

• With Others – feeling ‘not good enough’ because you compare yourself to others. Stop at the crossroads and get comfortable in your own skin. Let your self-worth increase and then continue straight on to appreciating others. Everyone’s valuable but no one’s better than the other. Be who you are and let others be who they are.

And then continue straight ahead and in 0.5 miles you have reached your destination – humility! Humility is uncompromised strength, because to have it you have to want nothing. When you have humility you get everything.

NO DOUBT

2011-06-14T09:00:00.001+01:00

We all have our moments of doubts. “I don’t think I can do this!” “I’m not capable!” In using these small phrases, but you’re questioning your own abilities. That’s not very encouraging is it? How do you expect yourself to grow and succeed when you keep this continuous negative attitude?

Have you noticed that, when you think something’s not going to work, it usually doesn’t? "Our doubts are traitors...” - William Shakespeare. When you believe and accept your self doubts, you sabotage your performance. Sometimes, a small doubt is all you need to hear in your head to give up. It stops you from trying new things and taking on new challenges.

Doubts are neither concrete, nor clear – they just blur the vision from seeing things clearly, blocking you from moving forward. Repetitive self doubts overshadow your enthusiasm. It numbs the mind into believing “I am not enough”.

Simply put, doubts DO NOT nurture or serve you.

Here’s the “get over your doubt” guide:

• Let’s say, you’re going for a job interview and self doubts begin to creep up on you… what to do? Take a moment to rethink: “Look, I can do this! I’ve got the relevant experience and qualifications! Even if I don’t get this job, it’s OK. I’m going to give the interview my best shot!” Remember, every minute you spend doubting yourself is a minute you could have invested in planning and preparing.

• With doubt, no doubt, you’re resisting trust. So, get really good at trusting yourself. Think: “I have the capacity to do whatever comes my way.” “I can become my best.” Take an action with trust, and move forward!

• Let’s say you act, regardless of your doubts, and your doubts materialise - it’s not the end of the world is it? You can always learn from the experience. Failures can be opportunities in disguise. Maintain self trust, no matter what the outcome.

Influence

2011-06-09T17:08:00.002+01:00

What is influence? Is influence always positive? To influence is to have an effect on another’s thinking, mood or behaviour. Sometimes we confuse trying to control with influencing.

Two Teachers
It is that time – the end of break and time to get the children back to their lessons. One teacher decides to stand by the door and use the idea that ‘I have the louder voice and I am taller than they are’… The second teacher in contrast walks out into the crowd of children and speaks at a normal level to the children. She tells the children to quieten down now and come inside. The children close by do quieten down to listen. The children further away also begin to quieten down, curious to know what the others are listening to… this is how influence works.

What influences you?
Is your mood ever affected by a sunny day, a rainy day, being out in middle of a forest or in a crowded train, other people’s moods, the atmosphere of the room, coffee or a feel-good film?

How about the company you keep? The people we spend most of our time with have a very big influence on us, there is, for example, the classic case of children copying each other in order to fit in with their peers.

How about the people or things that inspire you? Can you think of someone who inspires you, lifts your mood or spurs you to take action about something? What quality is it that they are using that inspires you? It is this that is influencing you.

Influencing Others?
We influence with our words and ideas, however, we need to watch we don’t overstep the mark into trying to control or not valuing others ideas.

What about the less obvious ways we influence others and our environment? Such as, take the quality you discovered above that inspires you. Now why not use that quality yourself to inspire others, lift their mood or spur them to act?

By being an active listener - paradoxically by listening we influence others. When someone has really listened to and heard you doesn’t it have quite an effect on you? More often than not though, as soon as someone starts to talk off we wizz to come up with some answers or we cut across them to tell them what we think or we wonder off somewhere else. To actively listen first face whoever is speaking, then become quiet - don’t comment or interrupt even to agree! – and next switch off your own thoughts, give then your full attention.

Silence also influences - in stillness and serenity first of all we come to have faith in our own value and abilities. We empower ourselves and become living examples of possibility for others. To influence by example is the most powerful form influence can take.

Stop Complaining

2011-06-07T09:00:00.001+01:00

Complaints, Complaints, Complaints. We all do it; sometimes we don’t even realise we’re doing it. Complaining about the weather, life, health, and people... complaining about when things don’t go right. We vent our thoughts and feelings onto the unlucky person who happens to be near us.

Complaining saps our energy and drags others down. Why do we do it? To create laughter (isn’t that what most comedians do?), as a social tool to share experiences or as a method to take action?

So how can we stop complaining? What’s the secret formula? *Drum Roll Please*… and the answer is…

Well, something as simple as rephrasing the complaints into positive comments works.

Instead of the usual set of complaints, share with others the things you value on a day to day basis. Talk about the positive things about your job.

If you’re tired and have to go to work, instead of moaning, have a little grumble but make it positive. “Even though I’m tired, I’m going to get a lot done at work today.”

“I can’t believe I have to cook AGAIN!!!” so much emotion and negativity in one small phrase, right? Now, look at it from a different perspective. “I can now try out this new recipe I have been dying to cook”. See what a big difference it makes?

When something happens during the day that you don’t like, so what? Why make it into such a big deal? You can hold the “remote control” if you wish, so take the opportunity and “turn it around”. Focus on what you can change or do to make things right or better.

The ‘No Complaining Rule’ will work wonders for you and the people around you. It’s a lot easier for people who have to listen to you. You’ll be surprised by how much better life is!

Even if you’re having a really bad day, put things into perspective. See the silver lining of the cloud. Live in a state of appreciation.

The Appreciation challenge this week is to appreciate at least one thing about each person you meet.

Appreciate all that life has to offer - the chance to breathe in the fresh air, watching the sunset during your commute home, all the little events we take for granted. Not much that we can really complain about now is there?

Beat Boredom

2011-05-31T09:00:00.005+01:00

Boredom is a boring topic. For most people boredom is a result of routine. Do the same thing everyday and before you even know it you’re likely to slip into auto-pilot mode.

Change the way and the time when you do your dishes or laundry. Do them at different times of the day. Could it be done quicker or better?

Initiate non-routine conversation. Ask more questions.

Did you drive the same way to work? Drive a different way. Do you have a scenic route, a quick route and one for busy commute times?

Did you eat the same food at the same restaurant? Try something completely new.

But what about if you’re cleaning the floor or packing boxes in a factory -the times when you can’t do things differently- how do you prevent boredom setting in? Actually, it's not routine that creates boredom – that’s a myth.

We allow ourselves to zone out. We get bored when our spirit is numb – this happens when we’re essentially bored with ourselves. We’ve become lazy in our thinking. We forget that we have a choice about how we experience life. So, remember that whatever situation you’re in – you are the creator of your own thoughts. Take responsibility.

Relive boredom by being creative in your thinking and in your outlook. Decide what you want to feel. Have an aim and objective. Put your positive attitudes to work and bring newness into what you’re doing.

Beat boredom. How? Get interested. Get fired up about life. Add fun to everything you do. When you’re having ‘fun’ you’re curious enough to actively explore life. Notice that each passing second is different and unique.

Otherwise you might fall back on thinking or feeling ‘you know everything’ (even if it’s unconscious) and the next thing you know you’re bored. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt- you do know things just not everything. So, regularly learn something new. Challenge your mind.

Sometimes, boredom can simply be a sign that your body needs reinvigorating. So, refresh your body by taking a walk or exercising.

Forgive & Forget

2011-05-26T15:58:00.003+01:00

Why do we say forgive and forget? In forgiving and forgetting we free ourselves and others from the past and enable ourselves to move on.

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is to have feelings of understanding, kindness, compassion and mercy... and not to blame or condemn.

Why forget too? It is 'forgetting' that truly frees us and enables us to move on. By forgetting we give ourselves the gift of the present and we also give ourselves the chance to create an abundant future for ourselves.

What does 'forgetting' mean? It means to apply a 'full-stop' to what has happened, to let the past be the past.

How do we forget? To forget enlist truth, faith and courage.

Truth, of who I am.

Faith, in myself (my true nature); faith, that I can have a life filled with peace, love and happiness, and faith, that I can change my future.

Courage, to act. To forgive and forget and step into the present. When we act with courage help comes - God Himself helps.

How do we do this? Take out some time to explore these ideas. Also, to sit quietly. In silence we can understand and experience our true nature. In silence we can experience real peace, love and happiness. These experiences fill us with a positivity and then to forgive and forget seems the natural thing to do.

In a jail the walls are very high and there are guards to stop anyone escaping. In a palace the walls are also high and there are also guards, although their job is to stop anyone entering uninvited. When we don’t forgive it is as if we imprison our selves. When we forgive and forget we move into a palace. Who are the palace guards? They are thoughts filled with positivity.

Don’t look to the world to see how to be and act, look first to yourself and then act with courage. You will then become an inspiration for the world. Just keep your aim deep within your mind and let it guide you.

Anger to Cool

2011-05-24T09:00:00.004+01:00

Long live the Button Pusher

Some people know just which buttons to press, and when we don’t know any better we just go ahead and let them. Later we are faced with feelings of regret or perhaps a running commentary of justifications in our minds... as well as feeling worn out.

95% of our pain is caused by bad relationships, we get caught in their negative cycle. We respond out of habit and regret it later. To break these habits we need to stay alert and take some time to reflect on these everyday situations.

Ever noticed that you can take life far too seriously and that there’s a need to see things a bit more playfully? To see it like a game offfering opportunities to clear out the old and useless patterns of our subconscious mind? We need to be very clear before we meet our Button Pushers just how we want to be and how we want to play. Ideally I’d like to be calm, open, understanding and comfortably assertive- ready to score points not with them but myself.

When that button gets pushed… So what’s going on inside this reaction? When we see or hear something we don't like it triggers a memory in our subconscious that we re-experience in our conscious mind, in our thoughts and feelings. We 'play out' that memory and project it onto the current situation. What we have lost sight of is that this is a completely different situation. It's a new situation and it needs a fresh openness, a listening ear and clarity of mind. It’s this old disturbance from suppressed memories and emotions that gets in the way.

Something to remember. Whatever is in the way is the way and is the perfect opportunity for me to understand myself better. Believe it or not, we need Button Pushers... they help us to clear out our subconscious mind. If we are willing to take time to reflect on these moments in life and become aware of how we would like to respond instead we can. Whoever it is that 'pushes your buttons' is exactly the right person for you right now, our enemy becomes our best friend so to speak.

An experiment for when you are going to meet someone who pushes your buttons! Just before meeting this person pretend that you are actually just about to take part in a game. There are two players: yourself and X. In this game it is X’s job to push your buttons and yours not to let this happen.

The trick: see both yourself and X as intrinsically good people coming into this game to play your respective parts. X gets a point every time you loose your cool and you get a point every time you retain it.

Game on!

The A - Z Challenge - changing bad habits!

2011-05-18T14:56:00.010+01:00

THE A - Z CHALLENGE: Move over negative, here comes positive

We’re all creatures of habit. The problem is if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always get.

How do we shift the negative habits and enhance the positive, even when some of those negative habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of?

We’d like to make it easier to go from negative to positive.

Join The A-Z Challenge to focus on changing just one habit a week.

The A-Z Challenge is more an attitude that says not so much ‘carpe diem’ as ‘just do it’.

After all, for things to change, somebody somewhere has to start acting differently.

Why not start with you? Shift. Change your outlook. Change your habits.

SUBSCRIBE HERE to receive your weekly challenge!

Starts on Tuesday 24th May. And lasts for 26 weeks as each week, we move alphabetically through the habits.

It’s free and you can do it from anywhere in the world! We’ll make it fun using illustrations, online meditations and tips to support your weekly challenge.

Week 1: ANGER - It’s not someone or something that makes you angry, but your own way of thinking that leads you to anger. Shift your anger by creating some breathing space. In other words, take time out to regain your cool. Be positive, be cool.

Week 2: BORED – If you’re bored of routine, do things differently, or try something completely new! If you’re bored because you’re not interested, get enthused by getting into the habit of creating a fascination for what you’re doing. Be positive, be enthusiastic.

Being Comfortable in Your own Skin

2011-05-09T15:51:00.007+01:00

When we feel comfortable in our own skin we feel that we are OK, that we can handle whatever might happen and that there is nothing to fear. There is inner contentment and faith in oneself.

It's about knowing where we want to be and moving towards this whilst being comfortable with where we are right now. It's about enjoying the journey and being comfortable with what we don’t yet know. It's about trusting that life will provide for us as and when needed.

It's not to be mixed up with being in our ’comfortable zone’ – this is dependent on outer things being in ‘place’ and familiar. This requires us to take up defensive positions. In order to keep our happiness in 'place' we have to maintain the stability of our outer circumstances, only we end up feeling heavy and tired rather than light and enthusiastic about life.

We limit ourselves to living within what we perceive to be our capacity rather than experiencing inner freedom and discovering our potential. If we want to feel more comfortable in our own skins we need to challenge our comfort zones. In fact life itself wont leave us in our comfort zone forever - life wants us to feel comfortable in our own skins.

Step back
When there are ten people throwing stones into a lake its whole surface is covered in ripples. It is only when they stop and step back and the ripples subside that we can see reality again.

Listen
In order to become more comfortable in our own skins first of all we need to begin to listen to ourselves with honesty. We can ask ourselves: What is it that my heart needs to feel fulfilled? What makes me truly happy? How do I want to be? Am I aligned to my values?

Happiness is our compass.

Pay Attention
Also, we need to be more attentive to life. Check out: What message is this person or situation bringing me? Often the answer is actually in our reactions, these are our signposts telling us what it is we change if we want to become more comfortable in our own skins.

Appreciate
When we think or speak negatively about anything our subconscious records this feeling. The same is true when we appreciate, this feeling is then recorded within us. The more we appreciate the more we increase our feeling of well-being and increase our immunity to negativity. We are building up our own inner support structure. So, how much time do you spend appreciating others and what is working as opposed to criticising or complaining?

Add Love
How much of what we do, do we do with love? A sign that love is missing in our actions is that they begin to feel repetitive and we find ourselves saying, ‘What’s the point?’ When love is present contentment grows. It may be that to add love we need to slow down, however, the return of adding love is much greater than the return of efficiency.

Real Self-Respect
Feelings of discomfort are connected with ego. Ego wants to prove itself, be seen as knowing everything, be in charge, be self-indulgent, feel sorry for itself, be praised… Discovering our true self-respect brings us back to our true nature and values.

Love, peace and joy are our spiritual make-up.

When we are comfortable in our skins and content we don’t feel any need to demand anything and this leaves us able to live life in such a way that it brings benefit to not just ourselves but also to all those around us.

Stop Apologising. Start Living

2011-04-28T18:43:00.005+01:00

It is good to apologise when we recognise that we have made a mistake. Do you also apologise though when you have not? Do you say ‘I’m sorry’ all the time? There are five reasons we might say 'I'm sorry...'

Type 1. Apologising for things that are, in fact, not in our control, such as, the weather, a delayed flight, someone else’s behaviour…

Type 2. Apologising for sanding out or shining.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

Type 3. Apologies arising out of a lack of self-respect.

Type 4. Those times when we say or do something that gives another sorrow - it may well be appropriate for us to apologise in these instances.

Type 5. When we know we have made a mistake.

In the case of type 4 or 5, what is important is our intention (our motivation behind our words) The right motivation comes when we realise we have made a mistake and are willing to learn from it. Then when we say ‘I’m sorry. I wont do it again’ we mean it. The other person too recognises the genuineness of our apology.

We wont do it again because we have learnt something, become wiser and moved on. It is important that we learn from our mistakes, otherwise we get stuck in regret and we try to turn the clock back to where it was before, even though we know that it isn’t possible to turn time anti-clockwise. When we learn from our mistakes, however, we turn them into something beneficial and this enables us to let go and move forward.

Invest in You!

2011-04-23T18:35:00.015+01:00

We invest in our health, homes, finances, families, friends, sports, creative pursuits, education, profession... How about ‘you’? Do you invest in ‘you’?

What does it mean to invest in ‘me’? To invest in ourselves is to invest in our peace of mind, positivity, qualities, values…Would you ever say you want more anger or fear in your life?

Invest in You
Our foundation is peace, so first of all is to increase our stock of peace. The key is our thoughts. Thoughts and feelings are closely linked an we can use our thoughts to create a feeling. To increase our stock of peace is to increase our experience of peace and for this we can use our thoughts to create the feeling.

Sit down, stop the swirl of thoughts and think: I am peace. Explore this and experience it….... However, more often than not when we first sit down we find that our mind goes into overdrive! If this is the case first of all we need to make friends with our mind.

Invest in Your Mind
Talk to your mind
Our minds likes peace and happiness, like a child though it doesn't like being dictated to. If we say to it, ‘Be quiet! ’ more than likely it will kick up a rumpus. Instead, be diplomatic, loving and gentle. ‘Hey mind, I have an idea. Why don’t we sit down together peacefully together for 5 minutes?’ Cajole it if needed, ‘Hey mind, you are so beautiful like a calm deep lake.’ If we take out time to invest in our mind it will start to co-operate with us.

Give your mind a challenge
Give your mind a positive focus for the day, it likes a challenge. You could, for example, say your mind that, no matter what happens today let's see how many times we can win at remaining peaceful, respectful, cheerful, patient…

Invest in Your Positivity
Reason with your mind when find going down a negative path and bring it back on track. Also, spend some time sending good wishes (positive vibrations) to the earth, nature and others.

Unplug
Unplug for a while; this means to shut down our physical senses for a while and just become aware of our selves as the being (the soul) that we are. Withdraw and re-charge. In doing so we create a buffer around ourselves against the negativity that surrounds us and eventually instead of being influenced by it we become a positive influence.

Invest in Your Tomorrows
If a problem keeps re-curing it means that we haven’t yet got it. We haven’t got the answer right. If, for example, people keep getting angry towards us for no real reason maybe it is because we need to learn not to make things personal when they aren't. The answer usually lies in our reaction and how it is taking us away from our peace or happiness. Take time to discover what re-curring situations are telling you.

What happens today is a result of our past. What we do today creates our tomorrows.

To Invest in Ourselves is to Invest in Others
As our peace grows the atmosphere around us changes. As we stop reacting to others we become a mirror for them to see what they need to change so that they too can become more peaceful and happy.

To invest in you is to invest in everything.

Flipside- flipping your mood

2011-03-19T17:53:00.004Z

A ‘bad’ mood? Now where did that come from? Maybe it is that we have too much to do; we have to do something we don’t like; something happens or other people are irritating, frustrating or annoying us? Who likes being in a ‘bad’ mood? Does it seem like there is nothing you can do about it? Once the mood hits often the best we can do it ride it out. All is not lost though, if we prepare ourselves in advance then when the ‘bad’ mood pops up its head we can flip it.

A) The Bigger Picture

The 3 masons

A man passed by 3 masons asking each in turn, ‘What are you doing?’ The first, who was angrily chipping away, answered ‘I am chipping these stones and I can’t wait to finish!’ The next said, ‘I am chipping stones to help to build this wall’ and the third replied, ‘I am helping to build a cathedral’

Check out the bigger picture and see how you are contributing to it. Seeing how we are contributing to something bigger than ourselves helps us to not get caught up in the smaller things and it gives us a sense purpose.

Purpose is connected to our inner values, so living on purpose means that we are able to express our inner values in what we do. What resonates with you? Peace? Freedom? Equality? If there is a lack of purpose it may not that you need to change your job, it could be as simple as deciding to change the atmosphere of the office from one of competition to co-operation or stress to calm.

B) Instinctively Positive

We can’t control everything that happens… we can aim though to have control over ourselves and our response to what happens. In order to be able to respond positively when ‘stuff’ happens we need to lay the foundations in advance- when things happen and our energy becomes low it is much harder to begin doing this. Instead if we begin now then when things do happen we will find that our responses become instinctively positive rather than negative.

Things we can do:

-practice gratitude, every hour find 1-3 things to be grateful for

-build up trust in ourselves (that we can handle situations) and trust in life (life is conspiring to help me)

-support others. Sometimes we try to flip our mood by comparing how lucky we are in relation to others. A better way is to look around and ask, ‘What can I do to help?’ It could even be to take out a few minutes a day to send out loving thoughts to others that are in need.

-see if you can re-direct your energy, for example, anger redirected can become passion and irritation enthusiasm

- we know that we can’t control other people so why try to? Do you like it when others try to control you? Practice taking a step back and see everyone as an actor in this big drama of life, even the villains- that is their role.

-begin to notice what triggers a bad mood in you? Are you going to let situations or others decide how you are going to feel or are you responsible for how you feel?

C) Our Thoughts

Look at your thinking. Notice how you are thinking and how you feel. We can think of our thoughts as seeds. Our thoughts create feelings, if we start to think about something strongly enough we start to feel that, for example, ‘I feel good today’. These feelings become the roots of the tree. Out of the combination of our thoughts and feelings the trunk of the tree grows (our attitude).

When attitude changes… everything changes. It acts like a filter and dictates our behaviours. Life is hard. Life is a battle. Life is a competition. You can’t trust anyone. Everyone is out to get you. OR Life conspires to help me to fulfill my purpose. There is something for me to learn from this situation. I am lucky.

Becoming Fearless

2011-03-03T13:35:00.003Z

Fear can deceive us, stop us achieving our goals and paralyse us. Is it possible to lessen its hold over us? Here are some suggestions from a recent talk hosted by Inner Space.

Cultivate the capacity to see things differently
Something happens and we experience fear, is it possible to look at what has happened in another way and experience something else? Such as, we loose our job and there is fear OR is it an opportunity for me to pursue a long-held dream? Take small situations and see if you can find at least one positive way of seeing it.

Life is a game
Make everyday a game. See yourself and everyone as actors on the stage in this big theatre called ‘Planet Earth’. In this play we all have more than one role to play, the parent, the single-person, the employee, the manager, the tennis player, the friend etc. We are all first-class actors playing all our parts perfectly. Take a day and count how many parts you play.

Play the game
The scene: the difficult meeting. The script: 2 parts. One is X- the aggressive manager. The other is mine- to see myself as an actor playing the part of the employee. Action: my part is to not let X pull me into being 'part' conscious. X’s part is to catch me out. If X makes me 'part' conscious X gets a point. If I stay ‘actor’ conscious I get a point. Scene over: image going for a drink at the bar as two actors after a days filming.

When we become 'part' conscious we become, for example, the anxious employee. The trick is to stay 'actor' conscious and aware that this is just one of my many walk ons-offs.

Create a balanced attention
Balanced attention is to have the right balance of being aware of what is going on around me and within me. We tend to be more heavy on the out than in!

To re-balance:
(i) Be curious. When something happens that causes you to react ask yourself, ‘Who is the I that is reacting?’ Who feels threatened? I or the role? When our sense of self is not so fully invested in our roles we begin to change our relationship with fear.

(ii) See yourself as the actor. As the actor our sense of self is separate to the roles we are playing. It is a much more secure sense of self, more secure we feel less defensive of our roles. Calmer we are able to see the opportunity and every situation then becomes beneficial, with nothing to fear only chances to grow.

Emphasise the positive
The more time we spend feeling building positive feelings the less time we have to worry. One great practise is that of gratitude. Every hour find 1-3 things to be grateful for, such as, a smile, a hot drink, a flower, a comfy chair, sunshine, rain, lunch, a friend, a kindness from a stranger, a near miss, a song, a bird, a text, laughter, just catching the train, a holiday, etc.

Trust Your Gut : Working with Intuition to Attain our Highest Potential

2011-02-03T16:37:00.007Z

We can enlist our intuition to lead us to know and express our highest potential, to discover our own personal values and to show us how to live in harmony with the laws of the universe. It is always pro personal growth and pro benefit.

What is intuition?
Intuition is our own inner guide. It is the voice of the highest part of our self. It is that inexplicable inner knowing, and when we trust it we feel that we are living in the flow, without struggle or force.

Recognising the Voice of Intuition
It always calmly advises us and it is not accompanied by fear. It feels natural and right. It brings understanding and clarity. It is in harmony with our conscience and heart. It is knowing what the right thing to do is without doubt.

Working with Intuition
We can journey intuitively back to our highest potential (to re-discover our inner qualities and resources) that we have lost connection with.

Set your goals. Our intuition will then start working to bring these about. Have you ever noticed how you suddenly become aware of a book, talk, person… that you never saw before?

Test it out. Start with small things, e.g. directions and what to wear. You will know if it was your intuition you followed or not. If it turns out that it wasn’t, we have opportunity to learn something more about it- so no attempt is a failure.

Quieten your mind. Take a glass of water filled with grains of dirt, we need to let this settle for it to become clear. The same with our mind, we need to let our past experiences settle to ‘see’ clearly. We need to train our rational mind to rest, be quiet and be patient - learning meditation is a great help for this.

Be present. Practise focusing on the present and not thinking about other people, events, the past or future.

Be patient. Don’t get discouraged, be conscious of your process and mentally note it down or write it down. This helps us to become more in-tune with ourselves.

What gets in the way of our intuition?

Over-thinking. We can easily over think and analyse, this opens the doors of fear, doubt and procrastination.
Thinking ‘I can’t’ rather than ‘I can.’ When we believe we can’t we shut the door to our intuition. Instead think ‘I can.’ Try it out and notice the difference when you approach a situation thinking ‘I can’ and then ‘I can’t.’
Others must know better. Sometimes we give more value to what others think than to what we think- later we regret it.

Everyday Greatness

2011-01-29T14:10:00.010Z

Everyday greatness is about achieving our highest potential. It is about the way we feel about ourselves, the way we treat others, our attitude towards life and our perceptions. It is about ‘being’ not ‘doing.’

Now is a time of change - make the most of it!
Currently lots of things are occurring all around the world, this makes it a time of opportunity. A time for us to achieve whatever it is we want to achieve, to seize the chance.

How are you using your resources?
Your time, thoughts, qualities, abilities? These resources are under our control and how we use them is totally up to us.

We are the artists’ of our tomorrows, the pen in our hand.
Today’s seeds are tomorrow’ s fruit. A seed is a thought, and it is the seeds we plant today that create our tomorrows. Seize the chance to plant positive seeds at very second and will be creating a future for yourself that will be filled with peace and happiness. We can’t expect the ‘fruit’ if we haven’t planted the right seeds.

Maximising Ourselves

‘If I always do what I have always done, I will always get what I always got’.

First, create a vision of who you would like to be. Visualise the ‘you’ you want to be and the life you want to live. Be sure, whatever you want to achieve- you can do it. Second, take an honest look at yourself, without judgement. Accept yourself exactly as you are right now. Thirdly, pick one small thing that you would like to change, that will bring you closer to the ‘you’ you have envisioned. Fourthly, sign the contract! When we make a commitment to ourself life helps us. It will bring us exactly the right opportunities or challenges we need to make and consolidate this change. Just be determined and take that first step of courage- nothing can stop you. Fifthly, take stock of your progress. In every second we can feel a bit different. See the change in you from yesterday, last week, a year ago. When we make and acknowledge a positive change we increase our inner power and a positive energy is released that moves us forward. An extra boost, is to accept God’s help.

Watch out!
Old habits, they try to hold on to us and some that we have had for a long time may feel like old friends, they are very familiar and feel comfortable. Only, choosing them we stall and stop moving towards our goal. Also, watch out for laziness! It will persuade us to sleep for a little longer and once time has gone by though we cant get it back.

Timeless Wisdom

2011-01-13T16:40:00.004Z

Timeless wisdom is wisdom for creating a happier and more balanced life. It enables us to arm ourselves with the inner resources we need to handle whatever may happen comfortably. It is the things we know in the back of our mind…

The essence of timeless wisdom is ‘know yourself’
To know who we are we need to embark on our own journey of self-discovery. We are all unique so, whilst others can share their experiences with us, we each individually need to make our own inner journey to find out our own particular mix of qualities and values. We may also encounter things we don’t like, however, knowing the goodness within ourselves first gives us a strong foundation and empowers us to change anything we don’t like.

Timeless Wisdom Tells Us:
# The world ‘within’ is more important than the one ‘without’
Today there is a sense that things are not quite right, timeless wisdom tells us that for lasting solutions we need to look to ourselves first as what goes on ‘inside’ effects what goes on ‘outside.’

# To attain peace commit to peace
How? Take time out to reflect on your inner quality of peace whenever you have time throughout the day. As we practice this our natural response to situations begins to change and our natural expression becomes one of peace. When we together commit to peace and increasing our own experience of inner peace creating a world of peace for ourselves becomes possible.

# To recognise our own value
Ego bases value on education, family, possessions and position. Timeless wisdom places value on our inner qualities and values. Our original inner state of being is of peace, love, goodness and truth and not of distress and upset.

# To set our compass for the day and be our own role model
First thing in the morning set your compass for day and be guided by it. Bring out your highest potential by picking a quality for the day and see whatever happens throughout the day as opportunities to play with that quality. You could pick to stay calm, patience, co-operation or staying peaceful.

# To recreate our inner power
To recreate our inner stability and resilience we need to take control of our thoughts. Generally, what we are thinking about is dictated by what is going on around us. How about turning this around? Instead, you choose. When we base our thoughts in our own inner qualities and values we increase our inner power, and our ability to respond positively to whatever is happening.

# The situation may not be as I want it to be, but I will be as I want to be!
How do you want to be? What is of most importance to you? Why do you do the things you do? Across the world it always comes down to: peace, happiness and love. Rehearse difficult situations beforehand, be as you would want to be. We may not be perfect at first but just keep practicing as we then create a guarantee for ourselves: that no matter what I can handle it.

Stress Free

2011-01-13T14:19:00.002Z

Life is generally pretty hectic these days; there’s a bit of worry, a bit of stress. Some might say a bit is good and even useful as in the short-term it seems to gets things done, only in the long term it is taking its toll on our energy, health and emotional well-being. So how can we “Worry Less, Enjoy More. Stress Less, Accomplish More.”?

Start everyday with a new focus
Begin the day by arming yourself with a positive experience. Then, head off to make your living – only this time it’s to make two incomes instead of the one! There is the one that pays the bills and the other is to increase your stock of positivity- by going out and sharing positivity with others it grows within us, in time becoming our habit and personality, and it can only have been something as simple as passing on a smile.

Don’t get worried and stressed about things
Did you listen to the news today? Do you recall what was said? Sometimes we do and sometimes not. Why? It all depends on whether or not we reacted to what we heard when we heard it, that is, if we turned what we heard into a feeling or not. What about that song that just wont stop playing in your head? Again, we have turned it into a feeling and when the feeling comes into our mind so does the song. It is when we turn something into a feeling that we find we can’t forget it and it is negative feelings that stress us. So, the best thing is to not turn situations into negative feelings in the first place.

Begin small, say, tomorrow you are going to meet someone who your know irritates you or winds you up. Resolve before hand to not turn that meeting into a feeling and that you are going to remain calm. Rehearse this in your mind beforehand and then when you meet them test yourself and see how calm you can remain on a scale of 1-10.

Maintain your cool and handle challenges positively
Treat your mind with respect. If we keep telling our mind to be quiet, or beating it up, it is without doubt going to end up feeling stressed out! Understand that it is the mind’s job to think. So, instead of telling it to be quiet, give it something meaningful and fulfilling to think about. Otherwise it is just going to grab onto anything and go here, there and everywhere. Then, instead of beating your mind up why not give it the experience of peace? All you need to do is create peaceful thoughts and allow them to turn into a feeling. This will keep you cool and help you maintain your cool in any challenging moments.

Practise meditation
Meditation is the great escape and re-charger. For a few moments switch off the five senses and take a rest. Your mind is constantly engaged in all that is going on around it. In meditation learn to focus on your innate peace for a while, for example, and experience that feeling of peace in your meditation.

Many people say meditation is not for them because their mind keeps wondering. One good tip is to keep your eyes open and focused on a point. This way when your mind does wonder off you will notice immediately and be able to bring it back. When we close our eyes we are much less likely to notice that our mind has wondered off.

To get started, click here.

End of Day Reflection
A good way to end of the day it is note your progress- your successes and the things that didn’t work, so that you can make a mental note of to watch out for that one tomorrow!

The voice of Intuition

2010-12-01T20:23:00.002Z

We are wise, only we have become disconnected from our wisdom. Intuition connects us to our inner wisdom. The voice of intuition is the voice that is aligned with the universal laws; it is the voice of the soul; it is the creative voice of your being; it is the voice of our authentic self and it is the voice that can guide us safely through a period of change. Intuition is not an impulse.

In times of change we experience fear (of the unknown)- our intuition knows though. To hear it we need to step back from the emotions that are generated by the situations we find ourselves in. We need to regain trust in ourselves and in the universe. We need to accept we have made mistakes, forgive ourselves and move on. Trusting we empower ourselves and with trust we can journey to discover our purpose, what it is we have to give.

Create a clear line between your head and heart. The voice of intuition comes from the heart of our being and it sends a thought to our mind. So we need to clear the highway, to step back from this cosmic play and 'go' inside.

On stepping back though we need to be careful not to bring the outside world inside- leave it out there and then step back. Otherwise, it as if we are sailing down the river of life and letting the water of the river come into our boat- we will sink. To stay afloat we need to not let the water (the situations and circumstances) of life come into our boat. Step back from the stage and leave all that is going on there, there. Then find the stillness and quietness inside, listen for the voice of your intuition. Then we can go back out again on to the stage refreshed and with a new solution.

Keep awake and alive your awareness of your creative being and essence.

Creative Guidelines

2010-11-29T20:22:00.000Z

-practice meditation / silence
-journal / write
-put a full stop / break
-conscious breathing
-laughter
-give consciously
-give yourself permission to act in a different way
-explore non-doing

Do something differently today

2010-11-27T20:19:00.000Z

Why just be resigned to your day-to-day reality? We resign ourselves as it is 'comfortable'. Imagine loving what you do and doing what you love.

Only... now comes that voice inside that says: you are dreaming, that isn’t possible. The internal critic, it comes to sabotage us and put us back to sleep.

The creative voice (more elevated and meaningful thoughts; the voice that connects us to something deeper and more meaningful) versus the inner critic- and we find ourselves in a state of internal conflict.

In fact there are many voices: the inner critic, saboteur, habits, addictions, inner judge and then the creative voice and voice of intuition (our inner mentor that leads us to our wisdom)

Creative intelligence enables us to use all our intelligences to bring dreams into reality...Have a voice dialogue. Where is each voice coming from? The inner critic from fear? Intuition from a vision of the world?

Some Universal Laws

2010-11-25T20:11:00.000Z

The law of:

-giving and receiving (to give is to receive)

-harmony (to live in harmony with others and our environment)

-non-violence (towards the self and others)

-respect (of self-respect and respect for others) When we lack self-respect we look for respect from others; when we have self-respect we give respect to others automatically.

-'body' (circadian rhythms): of the bodies natural rhythms (there is a time to eat, to sleep…)

-essence and expansion: we too need to keep returning to our essence between ‘expansions’ (expressing our essence) If we do not come back to our essence we get lost in the expansion, we end up talking and talking for the sake of it having forgotten what we wanted to say.

-responsibility: each of us is responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and actions. We can not blame others for what we are thinking and feeling. In blaming we actually give away our power to the situation or person we are blaming. We are all creative beings and are as such fully responsible for our thoughts and feelings. When we blame we get caught in the cycle of fear-anger-sadness-fear-anger-sadness. When we accept responsibility we empower ourselves, it is as if we are an actor in a big cosmic drama and we are in charge our part.

The Art of Questioning

2010-11-23T20:08:00.000Z

Asking the right questions can bring us in touch with our purpose and align us with the universal laws, for example:

- How would it be if I was doing what I loved
and loving what I do?
- How would it be if I had no fear?
- What is life asking of me?
- What am I doing right now?
- What am I focusing on just now?
- What is drawing my attention?
- Am I present or absent?

Creative Intelligence and Living on Purpose

2010-11-21T20:05:00.001Z

We are able to use our creativity for that purpose and we feel fulfilled and also benefit those around us.

Discover your Purpose
A clue: in nature the sun shines and gives light and heat; a tree grows and gives fruit and keeps soil together. In nature we see the law of giving at work.

Recall a time when you felt fulfilled and joyful. What were you doing? Most likely you were giving or sharing something?

Do you ask, what can I take from this person, situation, life? OR what can I give and share here? When we are aligned to the universal law of giving we are able to develop our creative purpose to its maximum.

Generally, purpose is connected to giving. What is it that you uniquely bring to life? What is bubbling inside you? What talent, value, beauty, idea? What it is uniquely yours to share? When we use our creativity to live our purpose we blossom.

We can use our intelligence to stay connected to our essence and to what is essential for our hearts (peace, love, joy) and to share this with others.

Creative Intelligence

2010-11-20T20:04:00.000Z

What is intelligence?
It is our capacity to understand, discern and decide; our capacity to ‘see’ with the internal eye (the third eye of understanding)

What makes up our 'understanding'?
Our values, beliefs, culture, education… what we believe is true. We say, we believe/believed it is/was the ‘right’ thing to do.

Types of intelligence?
IQ (rational), emotional, social, physical (of body and environment), spiritual and creative intelligence.

Creative intelligence?
Creative intelligence enables us to use all the other intelligences in a creative way, at the right time, to attain the best result. It enables us to dance creatively through life using all our intelligences. It enables us to live our purpose and give and share from our internal creative source. When we express our creativity we feel happy and fulfilled. It is blocked by fear (the fear to express ourselves etc.)

Automatic Living versus Living Creatively
Are you on auto-pilot, living by routine, ruled by habits, feeling stagnant? It has been found that we have up to 50,000 thoughts a day and that 85% of these are the same as the previous days. We have the same thoughts and conversations every day!

Most of the time we are not even aware of what we are thinking, it is as if we are asleep. Become aware of your thoughts, then we can use our creative intelligence to create new ones and come into creative living (thinking and doing).

Keeping your Creative Intelligence Awake?
Keep asking yourself questions. Questions that awaken your curiosity, wish to learn and discover. The right questions save us from automatic thinking and doing.

Guided Meditation (Relaxation): Autumn

2010-10-26T17:31:00.009+01:00

Simple 3-mins Guided Meditation to help you relax for the Autumn... Enjoy!

Unravelling some of the myths about love

2010-10-21T17:48:00.004+01:00

Why? It is a journey to self-understanding. Unless we understand ourselves we cant truly manage our emotions and feelings; ourselves. The struggles we experience in our relationships have more to be with us not understanding ourselves than anything else. If we want to understand ourselves then we need to enrol in the one real school; the school of our own consciousness.

Everything begins and happens in our own consciousness. Whatever we are seeing and experiencing right now is happening in our own consciousness. We take what we see and create an image of it in my mind. The image we create is influenced by how we perceive. This means that different people 'seeing' the same thing can experience it very differently.

At every moment we are creating. We are creative beings. Life is our creative journey. Love is the creative energy.

'Love' - This word is probably the most misused word in our dictionary. Often when we use it we really mean something else, such as, I want or I need or I am attracted to or I am attached to (recognizable by the fear and tension that is felt.) We may say ‘I love chocolate,’ which really means chocolate gives me the experience of happiness. We may say ‘I love my job’ which really means that our job gives us a sense of fulfilment.

What is love? In what ways does love express itself? (Kindness, compassion…) What does love do? (Gives and receives… ) Love is the energy of being. It is a unifying energy. Where there is love there is always unity. It is a connecting energy. When there is love we feel connected. Love creates harmony.

At the physical level what is the one thing we can’t live without? Oxygen, it is both the air and the water. When we breathe physically which is the most important breathe? The 'in' breathe. At the spiritual level what is the one thing we can't live without? Love is the soul’s oxygen. We breathe it with our conscious mind and when we breathe it there is a natural giving and taking. When we breathe spiritually which is the most important breathe? The 'out' breathe.

What has happened to love? The story begins when we are very young. We are given our first toy by 'a big person,' who seeing us happily playing with our toy send us a wave of warmth (love from their heart). So, we make two associations: one that 'toys' equal happiness and love comes from 'big people.' Then, another big person comes along and stands on our toy. We feel our heart break and we learn about suffering. Now we start to check the 'big people,' which ones look like toy-breakers and towards them we become guarded (we stop the natural flow of our love out towards them) Only what we don’t realize is that by denying the natural flow of our love outwards we are first of all denying ourselves, as who experiences the love first as it flows outwards? So, slowly without being aware of what we are doing we begin to grow colder and freeze up...

What do we give when we give love? We are giving the energy of the self. Why is it that some people can remain loving even in the most terrible of circumstances? It is because love is what we are.

Intuition

2010-10-03T15:09:00.002+01:00

Three Intelligences
Rational Intelligence. (IQ) This intelligence deals in information and data and its processing. We use it to think, memorise, analyse, plan, solve… It ‘sees’ what is in front of it (through 5 senses).

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) This intelligence deals in feelings, emotions and relationships. We use it to catch other’s feelings, empathise, express ourselves, communicate… EQ ‘sees’ with the heart; it sees what is behind the words people say. Rational intelligence, for instance, will ‘see’ an angry face whereas EQ ‘sees’ the reason behind the anger.

Spiritual intelligence (SQ) This intelligence deals in thoughts, consciousness and personality. We use it to reflect, contemplate, meditate, realise, understand deeply, observe (without judgement)… Spiritual intelligence is about being. It contemplates, realises and then acts. It is about first creating the right consciousness and then acting.

SQ ‘sees’ with intuition. Intuition is more than ‘a feeling’. When we intuit something it comes with a sense of knowing (truth) and creates a feeling of security and stability. The word itself comes from the Latin word to look inside or contemplate.

Rational intelligence gathers information from outside ourselves, processes it and then decides. SQ plans a little, it focus more on preparing the self internally. You grow in the faith that whatever happens you will be able to respond and handle it. You start to trust that you will know what to do when something happens. You become more present and open; you observe; you sense and you trust your response.

Intuition does take time to develop. Intuition comes from within, we need to learn to listen to our intuition, recognize it and trust it. It is energetic; it brings clarity, understanding, fulfilment and life. It is always positive. Intuition allows us to access a deeper knowledge that allows us, in the midst of chaos, to remain peaceful and create harmony within ourselves and around us.

It is as if we have this inner mobile phone that can connect us to life only we don’t know how to use it or re-charge it.

Developing intuition – we need to learn the art of ‘inner’ listening. Instead of thinking and planning we need to sit quietly and wait.

i) We need to train our minds to be quiet, silent and patient- to wait. It is to train the rational mind to rest in-between acts. Meditation has this purpose- to teach us to relax the mind, rest it and not to think too much.

ii) Intuition also requires us to trust more, and be less controlling. We can build this by having an interest in knowing ourselves (beyond what we see with our rational mind) and in discovering our own inner potential, beauty and goodness. To explore the idea that we are conscient (not just physical) beings; conscious (we think, feel and understand) beings.

iii) We need to understand how our thoughts work. When we go inside we encounter our thinking! Notice what thoughts drain / energize you? Which ones help to reach a place of flow?

Thinking too much! Worries, desires etc. all of this is at the rational level. We try to make ourselves feel secure by planning and by attempting to control what happens. Only, then something not planned for happens. We react, and later we may we regret our words or actions and say we had ‘bad day.’ In truth it was not that the day was a bad one it is just that we planned too much.

Create positive thoughts, such as, I am a peaceful soul. These types of thoughts create energy. Take a single thought, feel it and experience it. Be there. Do not create other thoughts. If other thoughts come, do not fight them. Let them go and re-focus. If they are persistent, as you have been entertaining them for a long time, may need to be firmer and tell to go.

Understand ~ Practise ~ Trust ~ Open ~ Alert

iv) At an even deeper practise we can come to feel a connection to a higher energy, the deeper we go and we can come to feel the love of God and at one with life. When we feel connected to the self, life and God life has a different meaning. It becomes simpler. You have such a rich inner life that you ‘need’ less and you have something to give and share. You enjoy everything and see its magic.

Frogs to Princes

2010-09-13T19:26:00.000+01:00

To become a prince requires a step of courage to do something new- if you do you will never be bored again!

To become a prince is to become royal. King in Spanish is “rey”, which means to be real. To be a prince is to be real, to be truly one self. Also, a king is someone who thinks of how to benefit many; goes beyond likes and dislikes; performs their duty without being influenced by fear… to become a prince means to do what is right.

We are brought up by three authorities:
1) Parents: includes culture, traditions.
2) Education: includes training for a profession be it a mechanic or lawyer- each has its own set of rules.
3) Religion: includes morality, ethics.

We juggle these three, and sometimes they may come into conflict with each other. We may then choose one above the others. We conform because we want to belong, feel safe and be loved. In not conforming there can be a sense of letting go of what is right.

We also need to consider the authority of our own conscience? What is it that you really want to do in your life? When we live our lives on purpose and fully then when our time comes to go there are no regrets.

Go Inside
It is well known that once you are caught in a storm that safest place to be is in the eye of the storm. So too with self-transformation, find and move into in the "I" of the storm of your life.

There are 3 different levels. Draw a point =”I” then a circle around it =”me”, and then an outer circle =”my”

a) “my”: possessions, body (age, colour, etc.), family, friends, work (skills). When we meet people for the first time we often talk about this outer circle
b) “me”: personality, emotions, dreams, beliefs, likes, dislikes, hopes and fears. If we meet that person again we might talk about these things. These things are closer to our hearts, we still say “my.”
c) “I”: the soul that is not visible through the eyes. The soul is full of love and full of happiness.

Consider: most of lot of what we do is concerned with our outermost circle, to make it perfect. We belief that if we can fix it that then we will have peace, happiness and love. Why did you buy that particular model of car? Why did you choose to live where you live? Why did you pursue the profession you did?

Instead of fixing 'my' and 'me' we can go to 'I'
Ask yourself: What do I really want? Who am I? Go to “I” and explore “I” - become real. This is the greatest happiness we can know, to become real. Nothing else can beat it.

When we connect to "I" our next thoughts will be real, filled with peace and aligned with our purpose and conscience. The only effort we need to make is to go inside and start to live from the inside out, everything else around us then starts to transform naturally.

2010-09-13T19:07:00.000+01:00

A loving consciousness sees the good in others (non-judging). This is perhaps the greatest thing and the challenge of our time. This is not about changing others – it is wake them up to the beauty within themselves.

2010-09-11T19:06:00.000+01:00

Faith is about who I am. The eternal peaceful soul- I am always this. In the dark night we believe we are the darkness or the sadness, rather it is that I am an ocean of love and a drop of sadness has fallen into me. We get caught in this drop of sadness.. this drop in the ocean!. It will dissipate, have faith in your eternal goodness.

What things do we need to grow spiritually?

2010-09-09T18:26:00.000+01:00

Take a tree...

Water: Truth
When we like an idea and it resonates with us... this is 'water' for soul. The best water for all for the soul is truth and it is needed daily! Listen to, read about or write (reflect) about something based on truth every day. You can just to ask yourself: Who am I? Pure spirit? Then everyday go deeper into this as the deeper we go the stronger the vibrations of truth become- immerse yourself again and again.

Sunshine: Energy
Our sunshine (energy) can come from our thoughts- these can alo drain us! Also from our interactions with others- again some drain us. Sometimes we play specific roles in order to get 'attention' from others, such as, the victim, the pleaser, only this type of attention makes our ego grow and not us. The ego is like the vine that grows around a tree and strangles it.

Real sunshine for the soul are the blessings that come from others when we touch their heart or inspire them, not from pleasing or impressing them. We do this when we are true to our self and obey our conscience, when we are true in our soul and to our heart.

Then, what drains our energy the most? Doubt, fear and worry. The opposite? To live with faith- in our self, in life and in God. When there is complete faith worry does not exist– you know that everything is working our perfectly and that if something happens you will know at that time what the right thing to do is.

Manure: Challenges
Challenges are our fuel- they help us to grow. 'Troubles' are really blessings is disguise.

Air: Environment
Is it one conducive to growth? What do you surround yourself with? What do you spend your time doing? People? Books? Hobbies? Does your job make you shrink or grow?

Space: Freedom
If we plant two tress too close together they strangle each other. Likewise we also all need a level of individual freedom to discover who we are.

Pruning: Clearing
How do we prune our soul? This is to cut away dead and negative things. We need to become self-aware- to check and change and to be open to feedback from all of life.

Service: To give
Survival of fittest? This model is based on fear. It is a case of win or loose. There is a fear for our survival and in order to survive… Does this feel natural? Does not fear shrinks us?

An alternative? To live with faith and love. In fact, the more we live with faith and the more we give the more comes back to us- there is no longer fear for our own survival. Imagine a world in which everyone bloomed!

Personal Growth- staying power

2010-09-07T18:08:00.003+01:00

How do you talk to yourself?
Do you ever criticise yourself? Do you complain to yourself about yourself? I am overweight, unfit, not tall enough… or about your finances or your personality? Thoughts like this are primarily arising from our ‘ego’ – it is our ego getting down on us!

Thoughts that are judgmental, grumbling, never happy, I should have done better… these are all ego-based thoughts. Also, thoughts that have an element of right now I am not good enough but in three months time when I have lost a stone, for example, I will be, are based in ego- they are ego-traps.

How do these types of thoughts leave you feeling? Low and frustrated? The premise behind this way of talking to ourselves is that if we make ourselves feel really bad about ourselves this will eventually motivate us to change our behaviour. What is the result? Does it bring about real change? Does it work?

Bringing about real change
Real growth comes out of a change in perspective and attitude. This happens naturally, for example, when we begin to think about ourselves from perspective of our higher self or from the part of us that is full of positivity and is always loving and kind. The higher-self seeks not to punish ‘us’ into being a better people- it seeks to uplift us.

Consider: to your soul how does your body look? Perfect? A masterpiece of creation? Compare this to ego-based thinking. Which type of thinking is more likely to bring lasting change in you? My body looks terrible or my body is a masterpiece?

Living on purpose versus short-term goal setting
Each of us is like a seed and it takes time to grow into our full potential. Setting goals along the way good is a great way of strengthening our willpower- as long as we aren't saying 'when I have achieved this I will be a better person.'

E. Tolle talks of us having two purposes: an internal one (to wake up) and an external one (to give) When we do not feel that we have that get up and go it is an indication that we are not aligned with our purpose / that which suits our soul. Sometimes we latch onto other’s enthusiasm, you will know when you have as after some time it will stop working for you.

We need to find our own sense of purpose and then grow into it. Take a tree, its first purpose is to grow into a big and beautiful tree. Once grown it then naturally serves- constantly and in so many ways.

Consider, you wake up feeling low and so go to work resolved to do as little as possible. How do you feel at the end of the day? Alternatively, you wake up enthusiastic about the day ahead and set out to do your best and you go the extra mile. How do you feel at the end of the day? Great? This is because you were in tune with your nature. Our natural nature if to give. How we serve will be unique to us. It may be through our qualities rather than through doing. Have you noticed how just being around certain people just makes you feel better about yourself?

Patience~Tolerance~Contentment

2010-08-12T15:44:00.000+01:00

The power of patience; don’t allow impatience to come. When there is patience you can come into harmony with others. When there is patience peace and love automatically work.

Pause… and you can develop patience within your thinking.

The power to tolerate. It is Ok, we are all learning so let me learn to live with others with love and not say that I can’t bear it anymore. When there is no tolerance there is no possibility of good relationships.

Contentment. Content and we know value my own life and others. I stay happy with them and they stay happy with me.

Pause… teach the self with love.

Strength ~Power ~ Energy

2010-08-10T15:35:00.000+01:00

Sometimes we want to do good things only we find that we don't have the courage... Sometimes when we see our weaknesses and there is hopeless... Sometimes our heart has been hurt and not healed... there then isn't that strength.

We need to give ourselves time to heal our hearts. Today no-one has time- time that is to express and give love to the self and to others. Have love for yourself- heal yourself. Sit quietly and feel your own heart and create courage and hope within yourself.

Weaknesses and lack of power are resolved with pure love; unselfish love; altruistic love. Don’t wait for someone else to give you love. Don't ask for love from someone, you can never receive love by asking for it. Make yourself strong by giving yourself love.

Then with an honest heart we are able to draw God’s love and this gives us power. God gives us love; the understanding of who we are and tells us how to live in the world with others.

Then we can use our thoughts and time in a worthwhile way and this generates energy. If our thoughts and time are wasted we also loose energy.

The human intellect understands. It knows what is right / wrong. It doesn’t matter what is happening in the world out there, let me do that which is right.

The Art of Thinking

2010-08-09T15:10:00.000+01:00

Pause…. Ask yourself, ‘What sorts of thoughts am I having?’ ‘What are my thoughts like?’

A) See the contrast: negative-positive thoughts and how do I feel?
Negative thoughts are like poison. Imagine taking a drop of poison! What would happen to your body? So also with the mind; poisons for the mind are jealousy, anger and ego for example. In contrast pure and positive thoughts are nectar for the mind.

Negativity is the fire that burns and positivity the water that cools. Negativity and there is falsehood, violence, confusion and regret. Positivity and there is truth, non-violence, understanding and success; with the power of truth we are able to transform all types of situations.

Pause… check the quality of your thoughts… change them if needed... make them pure and positive... See the contrast... feel good.

B) Wasteful thinking: time and energy lost!
There are many many many waste thoughts. At that time we think that they are right thoughts, only they just drain our energy, eat away our time and create doubt and anger.

Have a spring-clean, of 'waste' thoughts. Such as, ‘She should have done this! He shouldn’t have done that! Why did this happen? What are they doing? What do they think about me?’

C) Past is past: where did today go?
Don’t think!...Don't think about the past. When we remember good things about the past ‘ego’ comes; when we remember what wasn’t so good hopelessness comes. The past is past.

D) Others: what is my role?
Don't think!... Don't dwell on other's mistakes; what they said; what they should have done; what is wrong with them; what they may be thinking about you... We can't change others, instead see and encourage the best in them.

Pause… simply become aware of the essence of your being… and your original qualities...

Right thinking and our thoughts become elevated, we attain inner stability (power) and our actions and relationships become successful. There will still be obstacles and difficulties, however, the pure and positive energy that right thinking generates enables us to resolve whatever comes in front of us successfully.

Peace of Mind

2010-08-08T15:07:00.000+01:00

We travel across the five continents searching for peace. Why have we still not found it?

We are searching ‘outside’ of ourselves for something that can only be ‘found’ within.

Pause for a moment… go inside… become silent… and create a thought of peace... Let peace enter your life.

5Ps of Mood Management

2010-07-29T14:09:00.000+01:00

1- Pure intent. To have good wishes for yourself and others.

2- Peaceful. To have a stable and clear mind. In place of an emotional -energy in motion- one that leads to mood swings.

3- Positive. Whatever happens recognise the gift within that situation; you know that everything happens happens for a reason. Finding the benefit or lesson of events allows us to let go of what has happened and move on. If we don’t it is like drinking poison and instead of flushing it out (forgiving and letting go) we let it pervade us.

4-Purposeful. When we are on purpose everything we do is purposeful and our thoughts, words and deeds are in alignment. When we are not we get caught in a lot of wasteful thinking; going around in circles. Find your purpose and then entertain your mind in thoughts about it. One pointer: know that the purpose of everything is to give.

5- Powerful. Enthusiasm, determination, courage, vision… These are generated from within the self (they are not dependent on anything) and enable us to make the impossible possible.

Mood Maintenance

2010-07-27T14:00:00.000+01:00

What stops us from maintaining our mood?
In order to maintain a good mood we need power to ‘hold it up’ as we are going against the flow. This power comes from the self (soul) To access this power we need on a daily basis to take time out to get to know who we really are and our true qualities.

Mediation is…
… is an act of self-love
… is to heal / repair the soul
… feeding the right thoughts to the mind
… to transform our mind from being restless to peaceful
… to change our mood from sullen to happy
… to shift our consciousness
… to experience our best (We all know we can be more gracious, loving, humble…at times)
… to create a mind at rest and free form worry, confusion, conflict and fear
… to create newness (free of old associations) – better and happier experiences over the old ones.

Raj Yoga meditation teaches us …
… to be the master of our mind- our thoughts, feelings and mood. It is to become the master of our self.

Mood Management

2010-07-25T13:43:00.003+01:00

Question:
How many of your moods are caused by things around you? By others behaviour? By situations? By your expectations? By what you think is expected of you? By media?

Question:
Have you ever said, today whatever happens I am going to stay in charge of my mood? Today I choose to be peaceful, patient, understanding… no matter what happens.

We can be in positive or negative mood (state of mind) Consider: negative moods are reactions and originate from a thought (a feeling, belief, attitude) Positive moods are responses and originate from a thought. Who is in charge of what we think?

Mood management is to take hold of the reigns of our mind; to determine our mood; to create it- it is just a thought away.

To do this we need to become aware of our thinking and choose to change it. We need to start consciously creating the right types of thoughts.

Exercise:
Try this: read these words and just note your inner reaction.

Lake. Late. Deadline. Rose. Blue. Shouting. Meadow. Smile. Knife. Cake. Rain. Sun. Boss. Green. Queue. Flowers. Mistake. Weekend. Crowds. Monday.

This is what the world is doing to us all day- it is all associations / something happened in the past and left an imprint on us about a particular thing.

Mood Management Essentials

Physical. Enough rest and a balanced and healthy diet are important.

A positive outlook. When something happens, for example, instead of asking ‘Why me?’ ask ‘What has this person / situation come to teach me?’

A stable point. Today’s pace of life is very fast. We are asked to respond rapidly and in turn we expect rapid responses. When things are happening so rapidly we need to find the still point at the centre to not be swept this way and then that. Ask yourself ‘Who am I?’

Appreciate. Again the fast pace of life often means we have no time to appreciate the beauty around us right now. Stop and see and appreciate whatever is beautiful, right, beneficial right now.

Accept. We cant control anyone or anything, the only thing under our control is ourselves. The trick is to be realistic and accept whatever is happening –we cant change it- and look for the benefit it in.

Be present. There is no fear here in the present, it comes from associations from past or fears about the future.

Beliefs. These are core to how we wake-up. If we believe ‘I am useless’ this is what we will attract. We need to make time to be with our self and time to see our own inherent worth and value. Then we can wake-up, have a thought and no-one will be able to take it away from us all day.

Good Wishes. Other’s behaviour isn’t in our control. What is within our control? To have good feelings and wishes for them or not. When we start down the negative lane it isn’t possible to maintain a peaceful mood, it leads to doubt, confusion and distrust. Being positive (good wishes) isn’t to be passive it is to choose to remain peaceful and positive about others (to uphold the best in them)

Influence. We live in this world so we need to build an immunity to negativity, to not be influenced by it. We need to become complete observers – to see and accept whatever is happening without judgement (thought) – this is have a still and stable mind.

Successes. Note these as when we see the benefit we will want to do more.

Understand. When we react we re-enforce that pattern within ourselves. Instead pause, seek to understand what is going on and the deeper need. If someone / I am reacting with anger what is the real need that isn’t being meet here?

Thoughts on Courage

2010-07-18T20:13:00.003+01:00

Why courage? Courage and there are always possibilities.

Courage has traditionally been defined as a masculine virtue. There are also the more feminine aspects of courage. These can be recognised in the roots of the word. The French 'corage' means heart and spirit, and the Latin 'cor' heart. Courage is always in touch with 'conscience' - it aims to re-align us with our truth and with our greatness.

Courage is about listening to one’s heat. It is the willingness to act beyond our limits; to not be ruled by our fear; to commit to life. It is a strength that comes from the core of our being; the strength to say I CAN and that is possible. Courage is also about having faith in oneself and following ones inner knowing. It is an energy that supports us to be and do what we want to be and do.Courage is to let go of the idea that fear is real.

Courage moves us from disheartenment to determination and having faith in ourselves; from resistance to acceptance; from judging to observing; form force to being power; form being critical to being positive.

Building courage
1) Understand fear - Fear is destructive: it puts on the brakes; it prevents us from even beginning to go after our aim; it blocks communication and self-expression; it makes us indecisive; it makes us hide and repress the best in ourselves. It shrinks our world.

What is behind fear? Fear is connected with loss and with moving out of comfort zones. Take fear of failure, for example, this maybe a fear of making mistakes/ taking risks/ making decisions/ of not being acknowledged- here there is a fear of losing one’s reputation or of losing face. Then comfort zones? One is our self image; to step out of this is to risk no longer knowing who we are. This can be paralysing.

Another fear is of success / fear of our own greatness (potential.) This can seem scary too as we have become used to living in ‘fear’- it means moving out of this comfort zone- as to emerge our potential we have to let go of the things we have made our supports.

First is to acknowledge our fear, second to look it in the face and third to act all the same. The only method to dissolve fear is to do that which you are afraid of. When we act we find that our fear lessens until it has no power.

2)Believe in yourself and in life- To believe in our own ability to perform right / positive actions and to trust in life (that the help you need to achieve your aims will come to you as and when you need it.) Trust enables us to face uncertainties and learn from our mistakes. To take a step of courage is to put faith and trust into action.

3) Love yourself- Give yourself permission to be brave, to shine, to express your potential. To protects our hearts so we have hidden them, imprisoned them, shielded them behind resentment and anger. However, this stops courage. Courage comes from our heart (cor).

In meditation we can strengthen our hearts and also begin to let go of the shields that we have created - to let go without judgment. We can cultivate a brave, awake and transparent heart; one full of good feelings and truth. This makes us feel stronger and more whole.